Little Miss Matchmaker

Girls, Girls, Girls.

2010-07-27T16:56:00.000-07:00

We are always looking for lovely, single ladies to hook up with our clients! Our newest client is Tampa-based, but Dallas raised! He is Ivey league educated, attractive, TALL, (6'4), and incredibly old fashioned! He wants a girl who is petite, outgoing and looking for a Southern GENTLEMAN! If this is you, please email me AS SOON AS POSSIBLE at LittleMsMatchmaker@gmail.com so I can hook you up with our latest millionaire bachelor, who we are calling "Mr. Dallas".

Finally Back From A Blogging Sabbatical!

2010-07-20T18:17:00.001-07:00

Check out our website! Focusing on the Tampa and South Florida markets, we have the perfect partner for you. :)

www.TorrieTiernanMatchmaking.com

Love Guru Release Party Tomorrow In Miami.

2008-06-19T11:09:00.000-07:00

Come see me! :)

Email From An Ex In NYC This Morning.

2008-06-19T08:02:00.000-07:00

“The Government’s effort to boost consumer spending looks a bit like the New York dating scene: expensive and not yielding very lasting results.”

- Karen Richardson
The Wall Street Journal

True.

Say Wha? I Think I'm Turning Into A Guy.

2008-05-29T18:14:00.000-07:00

HFM is seriously crazy. Like legit crazy. He texted me again yesterday to which I replied "If we aren't still together, why are you still texting me?" To which he replied with- a phone call. Out of sheer annoyance I answered and calmly explained to him that I see no reason for us to communicate, not that I have a problem with him, but honestly...I have enough "friends", I certainly don't need any more, especially not any that used to be my boyfriend. He still doesn't seem to get it, as he texted me "I hope you feel better, Goodnight." After I told him exactly how I felt.

Speaking of guys, I think I've turned into one. I have never been more "whatever" in my entire life. I really look inside my head and can't believe it's still me in there, because suddenly the thinking in there just doesn't match the thinking that used to be there. It just seems too easy. I don't worry about anything remotely having to do with dating or the opposite sex. Maybe leaving the city made me less crazy. Or maybe getting away from Ivy and HFM made me more chill... Whatever the case I am becoming less "New York" and less neurotic every day... And this is scary... Even for me...

When It's Over, It's Over.

2008-05-27T07:53:00.000-07:00

At least this is the way I've always felt... So why does it seem like even when this is the case, after breaking up, people think it's ok to contact their former significant others? I really don't get it. When things go badly with someone I'm dating, I simply choose not to talk to them again, at least not for a significant amount of time after we've been broken up. I most definitely do not call them days, weeks or months later to "check in"...

Last night I get a text from HFM "I hope your Memorial Day weekend was better than mine was, I'm in a hotel in ------, I've been with clients all weekend". Ok. Let's rewind back to a month ago- I found out I was living in South Florida, not Miami, due to work, he freaked out because I wasn't going to be with in minutes of his winter house and I couldn't split my time between NYC and Miami with him, which made me freak out and we decided it couldn't work. I was fine with this, fine with us being done, fine with us not talking... I've moved on and I'm over it, when he decides to text me. Of course I don't respond, so he proceeds to text me again, and again I don't respond. I wake up this morning to a blinking Blackberry filled with social networking notifications that he's tagged photos of us... Together.

Maybe it's just me, but in my experience when things are done with someone they are done. As in OVER. Maybe I'm losing it, but is this behavior somehow suddenly the norm? It's like every time I move on with my life and start seeing someone else, the last person I dated is suddenly trying to be back in my life... I guess the old saying is true "we always want what we can't have"... Well, I can tell you one thing... I do know what I certainly don't want...

XoXo,
LMM

Have I Gone Dating Retarded?

2008-05-22T22:45:00.000-07:00

Wtf. Wow. I can not believe I have come to this point. Am I a complete and total idiot when it comes to my own dating life? Have I gone "dating retarded"? Am I missing all the red flags that appear when you are supposed to realize that people are complete and total assholes or am I just in a haze combined mostly of stress about moving?

All I can say is ew, ew, ew...

ICKKKK with a capital I,
LMM

Where You Lead I Will Follow.

2008-05-22T08:02:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed that in relationships we tend to follow the lead of the other person? It's kind of like the golden rule, "treat others the way you'd like to be treated", turned into the golden rule of dating, "treat others the way you're being treated". Maybe it's just me, but I've always been the type to pull back when someone I'm seeing pulls back, to give more when they give more, and not give a shit when they don't give a shit. But is this really the right way to date? Should we be following less of the dating golden rule and more of the original one? Would this make dating any easier? Or will the game of give and take always be the way dating is played out?

I have never been one to really care too much about the guys I've dated. I've always taken the "if it works it works" mentality when it comes to guys, and maybe this isn't the way to approach things. Maybe more of us should be going into dating thinking, "I should try and make it work", as opposed to my attitude. Would this make relationships more functional? Would this make them actually work? I can't say I know the answer. But. I suppose these days, anything's possible...

XoXo,
LMM

Stress-Stress-Stress.

2008-05-20T11:47:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up hoping my condo stresses would be over. I hoped in vain. I now get to go and deal with the condo association, before they allow me to move in. This wouldn't be that big of a deal, except I am staying with my best friend here and Meg is flying in tomorrow and I'd really like to be in my own place by then. I can only pray the board agrees, though I don't think they'll really care that 4 girls are going to be stuffed into one condo, which doesn't even happen to mine.

I've been so busy with this stuff and work lately that I've barely had time to update anyone in the real or cyber world about my dating life. So now that I have 10 minutes here's a basic breakdown: I'm over it. Not over dating, not over relationships, not even over falling for anyone, I'm just over writing about it for a little while. I always go through these stages, sometimes for days, sometimes for weeks, usually not too much longer, where I get sick of writing about all of the drama in my love life and throw in the towel for a little while. Maybe this time it will stick, maybe this time it won't. I may be blonde, but I'm not dumb and it's plain as day that my new home is no NYC and chronicling my love life probably isn't going to go in quite the same fashion here as it did in the Big Apple. So sianara to details about my love life for now until I figure it all out. Or at least some of it... Don't worry, I'm not leaving you, I'll still be blogging every day, just blogging minus the dating dramas for a while...

xoxoxox,
LMM

Megs in SoFlo.

2008-05-19T07:36:00.000-07:00

My best friend from NYC is flying in Wednesday night to interview for jobs here this week and I'm so excited! As long as all goes as planned she is moving here in a few weeks, which is practically amazing. Kate gets here in 3 weeks, too, so there will be 3 of us here causing trouble on a week (endly) basis.

I had so much fun this weekend with Jen it's not even funny, I can't wait until the girls are here to join in the fun...And I can't wait until I move into my new condo, (finally), hopefully this week...I feel like things are starting to come get together and I'm slowing beginning to de-stress and start to enjoy a more laid back lifestyle...And I can't wait until my BFF is here to share it with me!

xoxo,
LMM

Car And Apartment Hunting.

2008-05-16T08:47:00.000-07:00

I'm getting a car today, which shouldn't be that exciting for a 24 year old, except for the fact that I was in in NYC for the past two years so I haven't driven in a loooooooong time! It's amazing how much we take transportation for granted in the Big Apple, I sure will appreciate it after being stuck with out a car and no way to get anywhere all week! It will be nice to be able to go and look at houses/condos/apartments on my own this weekend, even though I think I found the perfect condo today...But I have to wait until tomorrow to hear back for sure from the owners, who were by the way adorable! The guy was an elderly Greek man who was sooo sweet and cute and said I reminded him of his daughter, who was also blonde, a Greek blonde, lol? And he said he thought we were twins...hehe...Since I look so Greek? Although half of my ex-boyfriends are Greek, I'm not really sure why, though? Heh.

I'm so glad to finally be getting settled and even more glad to be able to get back to working 100% and not have to worry about a car or a house! Megan is coming next week to interview for jobs and Kate is moving here in a few weeks, so I'm so excited! Everything is finally coming together and I am ready to work and have fun here! I can't wait to be settled and moved in and go to the beach and go out and play on the weekends! Yay!!! :)

Confusion.

2008-05-15T18:08:00.000-07:00

I feel more confused now that I am where I'm going to be than I was when I wasn't where I was going to be. I can't explain why, but I am more in limbo now than I was before. I just want to know. I want someone to give me all the answers and tell me if I should be with someone or not, or pursue something or not.

Is this too much too ask?

I would like a rule book with all the answers, so that way I don't have to wonder or worry about whether I'm wrong or right. Even if I didn't follow the book, at least I would know if I was wrong. Does anyone have a book of this sort? Does anyone know how to find it? If so, I would be much abliged.

xxoo,
LMM

Almost Lovers.

2008-05-13T19:16:00.000-07:00

I heard A Fine Frenzy's song "Almost Lover" by accident today and it made me start thinking about all of the guys in my life that were almost mine. There are so many people that come in and out of our lives, some that touch our lives in ways we never thought possible, some who stay forever and some who walk in and out in the blink of an eye and never know how profoundly touched by them we were.

I don't suppose there's any way we can know who we are meant to be with and who is meant to just be a stepping stone on our path's to finding the person we're supposed to be with, but I think for everyone there are certain people who will always in the back of our minds elicit a "what if...". I know there are people in my past who I think "what if I would've told them how I felt"...or "what if I would've given them another chance?" Or... Just "what if"? Would my life be different now? Would I be the person I am? Would I be happier? Would I be miserable? Or would I just be different than the person I am now?

I know that there is supposed to be one person that is meant for us...The One, have you...But how do we know when we meet the one? And how do we know if the one is really the right one for us or if we're simply making a huge mistake? What if one of our almost lovers was really our "one" and we let them go? Or what if our one is standing right in front of us and we don't want to think or admit that they are the one?

If you're my one, can you please stand up?

"Goodbye my almost lover, goodbye my hopeless dream...I'm trying not to think about you, can't you just let me be?" -A Fine Frenzy

Floridays.

2008-05-09T13:18:00.000-07:00

I can't even explain how nice it is to be back in Florida. To be able to see the ocean, to drive a car, to go where ever I want when I want and not have to worry about taking a cab or catching a train...It's just normal. And I'd almost forgotten what normal was. I'm still completely stressed with car shopping and house hunting and work ahead of me next week, but there's this little voice in the back of my head that keeps telling me, everything is going to be alright. I know everything is going to work out, it's jsut getting there that's stressing me out.

I'm going out on the boat tomorrow with my parents and I'm so excited, because that's one of the things I really missed about living down here. I hung out with my best friend from home last night and it was so good to catch up and just hang out with him again. It made me realize how much I had missed it here. Tonight I'm going out with some old friends and I'm so excited to see them since it's been almost 6 months since I've been home. Sunday is going to be utter craziness, because we're taking my Hehe, (aka Grandma), out for breakfast and then meeting my really fun extended family for a "Mother's Day Party", which basically means food, drinks and insanity all day long. After that, I'm heading to West Palm with Jen and car shopping Monday, then it's SoBe here I come!

I've kind of pushed my love life out of my mind over the past few days, but today when I was driving, yes driving, until recently a bizarre concept to me, and I started thinking. Some country song came on the radio about "you'll think of me" and I did. I started thinking of him, for the first time since I left. I started thinking that even though I barely know him and even though he's dorky and a billion miles away, I miss him. Not like the miss where you're like "I think of you every second of every day" miss, but the kind of miss that makes you think, "wow maybe this could be something worth not fucking up" miss. I think I've just been so reluctant to let myself care about him, that it took me sitting in that car, a thousand miles away, listening to a sappy country song to realize that maybe I really do care enough to try, like he keeps telling me, to make this work...That is, if he can try, too...

xoxo,
LMM

Sorry For The Short Sabbatical.

2008-05-08T14:01:00.000-07:00

I'm back! Between packing and traveling, I didn't have time to write over the past few days, but here I am. I'm visiting my parents for a few days, then heading down to South Florida to find a house and a car and hopefully learn some more Espanol! It's weird being out of the city, but honestly I feel more relieved than anything. I'm so excited to get to have a normal house and a normal life soon and I'm even more excited to live where there's a beach!

On the dating front this whole my life in limbo thing has kind of been a damper, but HFM and I are still on, so we'll see how that goes...I'll see him a few weeks and I guess I'll go from there. It's crazy, because I tried to break it off with him so many times because I knew I was leaving, but he would never let me, and now I'm wondering if he really wants this after all. I kind of, ok, I totally, freaked out on him 2 days before I left or something stupid, so I'm sure that really helped the whole him still wanting to be with me thing. When we first started talking I left for Florida soon after for work, and now it's like we're in the same place, and we're still getting to know each other, which is even harder when you're half way across the country. But, sa la vi, I suppose what's meant to be always finds a way and hopefully I won't find my way out of this one...

xoxo,
LMM

My Wish.

2008-05-05T08:23:00.000-07:00

I have always been a big believer in the idea that what's meant to be, is meant to be, no matter what we do to try and change it. The older I get, the more I realize how much fate and circumstance mold our lives. I think about my life up to now and looking back I can't believe the life I've lived and where I've ended up. If you would've told me 4 years ago that I would be a matchmaker and dating coach, living in New York City, getting ready to move to Miami, I would've thought you were crazy. But now I couldn't imagine my life any other way and everything truly seems like it happened because it was supposed to happen. Even the shitty times in my life, working for a crazy person, dating a few crazy people, have all brought me to where I am today and I really couldn't ask for anything more.

My thoughts on life have also been so changed and molded over the past few years that sometimes I can't even believe I'm the same person I used to be. In college I was obsessed with going to law school and becoming an attorney, and now I literally could never see myself doing anything accept what I'm doing. When I was younger I didn't like dogs and was never a fan of children, now I love dogs and kids more than anything else in life, except God and my job, lol. I never wanted pets or kids, and I was sure I never wanted to get married, and if I did it wouldn't be until I was in my thirties. Now here I am, with the views that the person I used to be would absolutely abhor. I don't know what changed me, or how I came to be who I am now, but I'm pretty sure that for whatever reason, God wanted me to become the person I am now, with the ideals I have now, and the life I have now.

One of the main reason I was ok with leaving the city was the fact that it's so hard to settle down here and even harder to raise a family here. When I came here a few years ago, these thoughts would have never, ever come across my mind. Some days I wake up and I can't believe I'm in my mid-twenties, I feel like I was just 21 yesterday, and now here I am almost a quarter of a century old. My friends who used to be huge party girls are now spending their spare time planning weddings and baby showers instead of going to happy hour. I realize I have chosen to live my life for my career for the past 3 years, and I have chosen to live in this city where relationships are practically non-exsistent, I don't regret a second of it. I wouldn't give up any of what I have now for anything else, and I can only pray that who I am today will lead me to who I should be with tomorrow. I know life isn't easy. I know relationships aren't easy, but I can only hope that when I meet the right person it will all fall into place exactly the way it should, no matter what the circumstances. And maybe that will be the happy ending to my sort-of fairytale life.

"My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,You never need to carry more than you can hold,And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,Yeah, this, is my wish."-Rascall Flatts

xoxo,
LMM

Of All The Gin Joints In All The World...

2008-05-04T09:14:00.000-07:00

Apparently Gin is in, or at least we thought it was last night. Katie, Megan and I went out and at some point Megan and I decided that Gin was going to be our drink of choice for the night. This coincidentally did not turn out to be the best decision we'd ever made. Katie was smart enough to leave early before we were totally out of control, but Megan and I, as usual, couldn't leave until we were completely ridiculous, lol. There was a lot of dancing, a lot of spillage and somehow the night ended with us running into Ivy's friends. I'm not really sure about the specifics, but I am sure of several crucial details of the night's events: 1. Megan made out with one of them, but we're not sure which one and 2. One of them saw me coming home yesterday morning with HFM and 3. Ivy was most definitely informed of all of this within minutes. Once again, I ask myself, WTF, and thank God I have Megan to share this with, and thank God even more that I'll have her in Miami to recreate more Megan and Torrie moments that would never, ever, in a million years happen to anyone else. Wow.

XoXo,
LMM

They Say 99% Of What We Worry About Never Happens.

2008-05-02T08:21:00.000-07:00

They say 99% of what we worry about never happens. So technically we should be worrying 99% less than we are. Since about the age of 5, when I started kindergarten, I have been a worrier. In elementary and middle school I worried about not getting all A's and freaked out if I got a B+. In high school I worried about suddenly not being "popular" anymore, and was overly nice to everyone from the geek in my gym class to the cafeteria lady to make sure everyone continued to love me. In college I worried about pledging the "right" sorority and once I became a sister my next worry was what I was going to do after college. I was dead set on law school when I decided to take an internship at MTV in NYC and decided there were a lot more fun things to do for a living than sitting in a courtroom all day. After college, I worried about finding the "perfect" job. I went through a few hellish steps on the corporate ladder and freaked out about where my life was going, until I finally found a job that made me happy and was right for me.

On the outside, it seems like I should have nothing to worry about these days. But my quarter life crisis has come to visit and I'm still worried. I'm worried that the decisions I'm making today could affect the rest of my life. I'm worried that I don't know what the right decisions are. I'm terrified that I'm going to make a wrong decision and end up with a closet of Manolos, even more Betsey's, so basically a fabulous wardrobe, and no one to wear it for if I keep going the way I'm going. I guess I'm just bad at dating. I never used to be like this. I was seriously "The Girlfriend". You know those girls that are seemingly born with a boyfriend because no matter what time of year or day you catch them on, they have a boyfriend. I actually liked being in relationships and I was pretty darn good at it if I do say so myself. Then. I moved to New York. I dated Ivy for over a year, I broke up with him, and suddenly I realized I'd morphed into "Non-Relationship Girl". AKA "girl who is bored and disinterested by the second, max third date and is happier being single than with any of the guys she's "seeing"". Maybe my standards have risen drastically, or maybe New York has done this to me, but it just used to seem so much easier. I swear I would meet a guy, we would like each other, hang out a few times and we were together. These days it's so much harder. It's like I meet a guy, we like each other, we go out a few times, and I'm totally disinterested because I realize I can't see a future with him, so what's the point?

I think I've been doing this for so long now that I'm just used to playing that game. It's like I expect to be bored or disinterested so I don't let myself care at all, because I've somehow developed Jerry Seinfeld syndrome and find something disturbingly annoying about every guy I date. Then I finally find someone who doesn't annoy the shit out of me, who I could possibly see a future with, and I'm the one who freaks out. I think when it comes down to it, I need to stop freaking out and worrying what could be and live my life, and I need to man up and get over it. I need to realize that no great things in life come without risk and stop being such a baby. Wow. This was empowering. I think my freak out stage just might be over now...For HFM's sake...Let's hope. ;)

xoxo,
LMM

Hello, I've Had You On My Mind...

2008-05-01T07:44:00.000-07:00

Why do I always feel the need to complicate my life even more than it is already complicated on an almost daily basis? Can someone please help me out with that answer? And it's never silly, petty little life complications, it's like major life complications and for whatever reason I'm amazing at creating them and throwing them into the mix of Torrie's screwed up life. It is so typical of me to start dating someone weeks before I move across the country. I really don't know what I'm thinking. I really don't know if I'm thinking at all, because all along I've been telling myself I wasn't going to date or get attached to anyone because I'm leaving. And what do I go and do? The exact opposite. I really don't get it. It's almost like I purposely torture myself by making my life ridiculous. I mean really.

This doesn't even make sense. I must be insane. I can barely stay committed to a purse for more than two weeks, how am I going to date someone half way across the country? I know the logical answer would be to end things and not get more attached than I already am and move on with my life and forget all about him. But. I just can't. I know I would regret it so much if I let go such a great guy just because things are going to be hard for a while because we're apart. I've honestly never freaked out more dating anyone else than I have with him. I literally freak out all the time, because for the first time since Ivy, I actually see the possibility of a future with someone and I'm terrified I'm going to fuck it up. I guess the reason I was so whatever with all the other guys I've dated is because deep down I didn't really give a shit what happened with them, because I didn't care. So now I have this amazing guy who I'm crazy about, who adores me back and I'm completely freaked out about the whole thing. Because for the first time in my life I'm really scared I'm going to screw everything up and lose him.

Maybe we push people away because we're scared of getting closer and even more scared of getting hurt? Things are so easy with him, easier than I can ever remember things being before, and that scares the shit out of me...

"Cause baby I've been lightly drinking, and a little bit too heavy on the thinking. And I, I've never been so amused. There ain't nothing left to prove. I've got nothing left to lose."-Tristan Prettyman.

XoXo,
LMM

Simple As It Should Be.

2008-04-30T08:44:00.000-07:00

My stress level is mounting by the second, especially since apparently getting moving boxes in NYC is about as easy as getting a Birkin before the book. Now I'm basically left with no choice except to walk down to the local UPS store and carry them back via cab since it takes 5-10 days to ship them and I definitely don't have 5 or 10 days. Today my after-lunch goal is to pack up my office, then head to the UPS by my house and repeat the torture one more time. Things are back to normal with HFM and it was surprisingly easy for both of us to get over and forget about the incident from the night before. It's usually never easy, but isn't that the way it's supposed to be? I can only hope future arguments or lack there of can go that well...It's just so much easier when it's easy. I wish all of life could be so simple...

"So time will go, And we may be far apart, I know..But as far as I can see, This is so good, There's no need for change, It's all right with me...It's as simple as it should be...Simple as it should be..."-Tristan Prettyman

Am I More Than You Bargained For?

2008-04-29T07:28:00.000-07:00

I think I've been honest to the point of my own detriment lately. Really. Like I think or worry about something and I say it. For future reference this is not always a good idea, and does not always have great reactions from those around you. Especially those you are dating. Last night I was texting HFM and I basically freaked out because I am leaving and while he will be there soon after, we'll still be in different places for a while and I just didn't want to get attached to him and then be half way across the country. So being the complete idiot I am, I decided to tell him this and freak out about whether we should keep seeing each other or not. This was basically retarded considering he's literally the nicest guy in the world and I always have so much fun with him, but then again I guess I am relationship retarded with my own personal life these days.

I guess you could say I am one of those people with what my friends and I like to call "cinematic personalities". Basically I want everything in life to be perfect, like in the movies, and I'm not happy unless everything plays out as dramatically and big as it does on screen. So, whenever something doesn't go exactly as I think it should in real life, I freak out and think things aren't going the way they should and either A. leave the situation entirely and move on or B. freak out and try and make things the way I think they should be. Just in case you were wondering, I realize this is not a good trait to have.

I definitely hurt HFM's feelings by freaking out and telling him I don't know if we can hang out anymore, and I'm not even really sure why I did it, because I definitely didn't mean it and now I feel awful. I have this great guy, who adores me and who I think is great, and this is what I do. I'm really not surprised though, considering this is me we're talking about. One of my best friends told me this morning that she's never seen me happier than I've been with him and that she thinks he's perfect for me. Great. 12 hours to late and both us have come to this conclusion simultaneously. Typical. Why do we always push away the people that are probably the ones we should be pulling closer when things get difficult? I need to figure out the answer...

"Am I more than you bargained for yet/I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear/Cause that's just who I am this week."-Fall Out Boy

XoXo,
LMM

Blah, Blah, Blah.

2008-04-28T10:53:00.000-07:00

Things I love today:
1. Leona Lewis' "Bleeding Love" song, which I hear constantly but still can't get enough of.
2. Dogs. And the idea of getting my own in the very near future, and this time my parents can't steal him away.
3. Warm weather. And living in it soon.
4. My new Erica Weiner necklace, because it's super fab, check her out: http://www.ericaweiner.com/.
5. My new Diane Von Furstenburg dress, because it reminds me of summer and Miami.
6. Deciding where my next vacation will be too.
7. Being tan(ner) than I've been since Thailand.
8. Laughing at the silly pictures from this weekend.
9. Having the best, best friends ever who always listen to my drama.
10. New beginnings.

xoxo,
LMM

Please Just Don't Play With Me, My Paper Heart Will Bleed.

2008-04-25T07:44:00.000-07:00

After a friend and I went to Katie's charity benefit with Veranda last night, we stopped by a bar by my house and met some other friends. We grabbed a drink and walked out onto the "patio", which basically consists of an alley filled with tables and hundreds of people. The crowd was almost completely filled with Wall Street types and was almost entirely male. Being there last night made me realize why everyone in New York is single. It's almost impossible to date here, because 1. everyone knows how many other options they have on a daily basis, 2. the male to female interaction is bizarre, most guys simply stare at girls they think are cute all night and make comments to their friends about them, but almost none actually approach the girls they are interested in, 3. almost everyone you hang out with is also single, so it somehow seems the norm and finally 4. everyone is more concerned about their jobs and what's going on in their field of work than their personal lives.

Going out last night made me happy to get out of the city. I just don't see myself settling down here anytime soon and the more I look around me I realize it's almost an impossibility here, unless you're 40 or my age and have no social life. I mean, don't get me wrong, I know it can happen here, but let's be realistic, it's freaking hard to date in New York. Everyone thinks they're a hot commodity who won't settle for anything less than perfection, even if they're over 30 and balding, they still think they deserve a trophy wife because they're hella successful.

Me, I don't even want perfection, I just want someone who's perfect for me. I want someone I want to hang out with all the time, someone who doesn't annoy the hell out of me after a few dates, someone I can actually relate to. Maybe I'm just growing out of the city or the city's growing out of me, but I'm over the pretentious bullshit and fakeness that is so necessary in every aspect of life here, especially dating...Will dating be different in Florida? Or is dating everywhere as fucked up as it is NYC? I guess I'll be finding out very, very soon.

XoXo,
LMM

"Please just don't play with me, My paper heart will bleed, This wait for destiny won't do, Be with me please I beseech you, Simple things, that make you run away, Catch you if I can, Waiting, day to day it goes through, My tongue is, Tied to, a dream of being with you, To settle for less, is not what I prefer..." -The All American Rejects

I Don't Want A Clean Slate.

2008-04-24T08:50:00.000-07:00

It feels weird being back in NYC, I think I almost forgot what it felt like to live here for few weeks. My friend Kate flew in from Seattle this morning, and was greeted by a disaster of a house. My roommate swears the maid is coming today. I pray he's right, especially since I'm showing my apartment tomorrow. After work I have a charity event to go to, then I'm meeting a few girlfriends out at our favorite bar for a drink or two with Kate. I keep thinking about how different my life is going to be if I'm living in Florida. I also keep thinking about what a pain in the ass moving and apartment and an office across the country is. I definitely want to do a girl's dinner next weekend before I go back. Above all else, I will miss not seeing my friends here all the time.

Last night the Nicer Mr. Nice Guy texted me with: "I've heard you've dated a lot of guys." Well, ok. I have dated a lot of guys, as in dated, not had serious relationships with or hooked up with. I'm starting to think that this might bother him, though I don't see why it would. I am who I am, and my past, including who I've dated is a part of who I am now. I don't regret any of it. I honestly feel like I've learned more from dating different types of people than I ever could have by staying with the same person forever. I finally know what I want in a person and the things I like and don't like in a relationship. I would have never known any of that if I wouldn't have dated around as much as I have. And the past four months of serial dating on my part greatly needed in my opinion, to help me realize all of these things about what I want and don't want. I feel like now I am finally in the place to date someone and know 100% that they are what I want in a person. Sometimes doesn't it take dating the wrong person to find out what you love about the right one?

Yes, I've had my heart broken. And, yes, I've broken a few hearts. I've hurt people and I've been hurt. I've led people on and I've been led on. But in the end, every experience was worth it, because now when I do meet the right person I'll appreciate them so much more, because of everything else I've experienced. I don't really know how to explain it, but I have this new found sense of self, like I can do anything I want to do, and I have an open heart. I'm finally with out all of the fucked up issues Ivy left with me with, because I'm over it and I've let it all go. It feels so empowering to be in a place where I have no obligations to anyone and have the power to decide where my life goes and who I share it with. I don't feel the need to date anyone, but if I meet the right person, I know in my heart it will be right. I've had the weirdest feeling for the past month that the next person I date is going to either mold a great part of my life from now on, or will be the person I end up with. I can't explain why, but I haven't been able to shake that thought for weeks. Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I'm overstressed or just plain exhausted. Or. Maybe I'm finally ready to meet someone worth settling down for...

XoXo,
LMM

I Don't Know Your Timetable, And I Don't Know Your Face By Heart...

2008-04-23T21:08:00.000-07:00

To say today was a clusterfuck would be an understatement. I got to the Palm Beach International airport at approximately 12:15 after my cab was thirty minutes late. I tried to check in curbside when the agitated baggage guy told me he couldn't find my reservations. And, being the good traveler I am I had no ticket printout with me, hence no confirmation number. So I grudgingly took my ass up to the ticket counter, waited for the old lady in front of me whose cocker spaniel was busily humping her leg, though she didn't seem to notice, check in and went to the front desk. The chipper Delta lady looked up my flight info and with a smile from ear to ear informed me that I had booked my flight for next Wednesday and not today. Lovely. $150 surcharge and 6 hours and no promised PBI wi-fi service later I was on my way to LGA.

My flight was not unlike any other coming from South Florida. There were a lot of senior citizens, a lot of screaming babies coming home from seeing senior citizens and a few business travelers like myself. Luckily I got to sit next to a power lesbian in a pinstripe suit who typed on her computer, bitched about the weather in Palm Beach and sighed and rolled her eyes at me when I had to get up and go to the bathroom. After my lovely day, I walked into LGA expecting to be greeted with a grimy baggage check and a room filled with exhausted assholes when I check my cell and see a text from HFM: "Wait till you get to baggage claim...sewage issues...let me know if want anything from Starbuck's." Huh? He had a flight into JFK 45 minutes earlier and stopped by LGA with his car to pick me up. Seriously. Adorable. And this after being away all week and barely sleeping. All I could think was what a nice guy. Of course this would fall into my life weeks before I'm thinking about relocating and at the busiest time in my entire career thus far when I'm traveling half the time. Then again, he's traveling half the time, too, so maybe something could actually come of it, because we are probably the only people either of us has ever talked to who can actually understand and relate to seeing someone who is gone for days at a time. I really have no clue what will happen, but we're both in the city Sunday and we're going to dinner, so we should at the very least have some interesting stories to share...

On the Nicer Mr. Nice Guy note, things are the same as they were yesterday....and the day before...and the day before. I actually really, really like him, but a part of me is worried that things may stay the way they are forever. I am all for getting to know someone before you date them and not rushing into to anything, but I'm also not into being "friends" with someone I'm interested in for weeks or months... I guess I'm just getting old, lol, but I'm really at the point in my life where I'm finally over talking to lots of guys and seeing lots of people casually. I really want to meet the right person and date the right person as opposed to seeing multiple people casually. I truly feel for the first time I'm ready to meet someone I can not only have a serious relationship with, but also see myself settling down with in the future. Is the Nicer Mr. Nicer Guy ready for that type of relationship? Or will he simply be more comfortable staying "just friends" for months until he feels I'm right?

"I don't ever dream about you and me, I don't know your face by heart, But there is still a part of me, That thinks we might get on, I wish I could tell you face to face instead of singing this stupid song..." -Kate Nash

Nicer Mr. Nice Guy vs. HFM

2008-04-23T07:29:00.000-07:00

I'm flying back to the city for a few weeks today. I have to pack up my apartment, wrap up my life, and come to terms with the fact that NYC will be my new Florida and West Palm will be my new home, at least for a while. I'm actually pretty ok with that. I love the city, but after almost 2 years I'm kind of over it. I can use a break from the craziness for a while, and South Florida could be just the remedy I need.

I saw the Nicer Mr. Nice Guy last night and while we're just friends, though it's obvious we like each other, everything seems right and easy with him. I can't really explain it, but there isn't the drama or anxiety or anything that has accompanied every other guy I've liked in the recent past. Maybe it's because I'm just used to neurotic New Yorkers...We'll see if that lasts...

Going out with the new HFM Sunday, as I have friend in town all weekend. He's definitely funny and hot and passes my MDA with flying colors, unlike the Nicer Mr. Nice Guy. For some reason I feel like Nicer Mr. Nice Guy is better for me than HFM, even though on the outside HFM seems to be perfect for me. HFM also splits his time between the city and Miami, he's over 30, established, sarcastic, witty, funny...But the Nicer Mr. Nice Guy just seems more right.

So, I guess I will go out with him this weekend and see where it goes and how I feel, but a part of me is pretty sure the Nicer Mr. Nice Guy will come out on top of my dating hierarchy. If he can keep my interest while I'm away over the next two weeks and not fall in love with anyone else, I think I could possibly picture myself dating him...

NYC Bound,
LMM

In A New York Minute.

2008-04-22T07:54:00.000-07:00

The dating department of Torrie's screwed up life is even more confusing now than it was before this whole bi-coastal thing. I mean deep down, I know what I want and who I want to pursue things with, but there's still a part of me that just isn't sure. I guess I've just grown accustomed to the New York style of dating and directness that doesn't exist anywhere else, especially not in "normal land". Maybe I'm completely fucked up after a few years too many in the city, but it's become the norm for me to be dating multiple people at a time. And it's become even more normal for me to become completely uninterested when a guy I date doesn't make it clear that he wants to be dating me exclusively, even though he knows I'm dating other people. I know this makes no sense, but the twisted dating culture of New York is beyond explanation. Though I will try with this: girl dates boy, girl dates other boys, boy dates girl, boy dates other girls, until boy realizes he is absolutely not going to find a girl better than said girl and also realizes that said girl is probably dating other boys who are far better than him, so he freaks out to an extent and pushes exclusivity,this is how relationships occur. New York City marriages, the rarity that they are, often follow the same path, ask any intelligent, successful married male in the city why he asked his wife to marry him and the answer will usually be something along the lines of, "I knew if I didn't put a ring on her finger somebody else would". And he'll usually be 100% right.

I've never really gotten that whole concept, yet of course I still subscribe to it, because in Manhattan you have no other choice. For whatever reason men, especially Manhattan men, especially Manhattan men in finance, thrive on competition. Even in relationships, this is why New Yorkers are multiple daters. You can't really blame us, I mean we all compete with half the world to land the jobs we land in the fields we work in, then once we get the jobs the competition to keep them and succeed against our competition is even more intense. So, in reality, why would dating be any different? Shouldn't we have to work for what we want in that field as well?

Isn't there a better way to go about this whole relationship thing? Couldn't there be an easier way of dating in the 21st century? I mean, people walk on the moon for Goodness sake, can't we figure out a way to fall in love with one person while not dating the rest of the world at the same time? I blame this whole issue for the most part on men. If they weren't so damn unsure of what they wanted all the time maybe women wouldn't have to fill up their time dating other people to make them figure their shit out faster. Just a thought, but possibly one that would make dating this day and age a hell of a lot easier. Whatever happened to meeting someone, liking each other, dating each other, falling in love and getting married? At what point did this whole dating other people, then figuring out which one you really want to be with, then dating for years and years, then figuring out if the person you're with is worth marrying, then being engaged for a while, then finally taking the plunge thing come to be? If you ask me it's all exhausting and even more annoying. I think life would be a hell of a lot easier if dating was the way it used to be and boy met girl, they fell in love, got married and lived happily ever after. Maybe if the male species wasn't so damn slow in the dating department they wouldn't bitch so much about how they met "Miss Right" and lost her in a New York minute....

Just A Thought,
LMM

The Weather Is Here. Wish You Were Beautiful.

2008-04-21T07:40:00.000-07:00

I have never felt more in limbo than I do right now. I feel like I'm living two different lives at the same time, one in Florida and one in the city, and in the next 3 weeks I have to merge those two lives into one and I don't know if I'm ready to do that. Over the past few months my time has been pretty much back and forth between Miami/West Palm and NYC. Now that most of my time will be condensed into one place it's time for me to figure things out and say goodbye to one life and embark on another. I'm going home for the first time since December, in 3 weeks. I've never gone that long with out visiting. Unless you've lived in the city it's hard to explain, but this is completely typical in Manhattan. Most of us put our careers first, and everything else is secondary, including making it home more than once a year. I don't want to live like this for the rest of my life. However, I know that if I stay in the city forever, this is the life I will live.

I went from living a life where I saw my family almost every day to seeing them a few times a year, which is so weird to me. I've been gone for almost two years, which is even crazier to think about, since it feels like I moved to the city yesterday. Most of my friends from home have gotten married or engaged since I've been gone. They're all buying houses and planning rehearsal dinners. Instead I've lived the life of a good New Yorker and worked my ass off building my career. In Manhattan, you are what you do: you live, eat and sleep work, and even when you aren't at work, you're always working, whether you're networking at happy hours or charity functions or at a friend's birthday party, work is always you're first priority. Relationships are almost so non-existent in Manhattan's upper echelon twenty and even thirty-something's social circle that even the thought of marriage and settling down is thought of as a ridiculous, far off concept that people actually laugh at and make jokes about.

Now, I basically have two choices. I can continue along the path I've been on over the past two years or I can take a chance and see what else is out there. I can live a life in "normal land" and hopefully be happy and content or possibly be bored out of my mind in a month and wishing I had my old insane, drama-filled life back. Or I can stay in the city and probably end up like Carrie from Sex In The City, 40, with an oven full of Malanos and no husband too match. Am I really ready to settle down and live in "normal land", or have I simply become "too New York" too be happy anywhere else?

"He's going back to New York to pack it all up and let everyone know,
It was something that he should have done such a long time ago,
Still time to start a new life in the palm trees..."-Jimmy Buffett

At Least I'm A Social Yenta.

2008-04-20T10:02:00.000-07:00

Miami Herald
VELVET UNDERGROUND
Want to marry a South Florida millionaire?
Published Fri, Apr. 18, 2008

By LESLEY ABRAVANEL

Since the value of the dollar is as weak as an American Idol judge's overuse of the word ''pitchy'', thank goodness for gold. And since gold is such a prized commodity, you know what that means -- there's a huge surplus of gold diggers out there. On Saturday, those miners will be a flocking to Set from 10 p.m.-midnight when professional matchmakers Torrie Tiernan and Sonja Capasso will conduct a search for a suitable suitor for a so-called ''handsome South Florida millionaire.'' According to the yentas, he is a ''30-something, hot millionaire real estate investor looking for the girl of his dreams and to start a family.'' That so-called millionaire is looking for a woman who ''fits into any social scene comfortably, is family oriented, wants kids, likes dogs . . . and is either a Floridian or willing to relocate.'' Oh, and she must be between the ages of 22-36. As for the yentas, they are also out to prove that you can, indeed, meet ''the one'' in a club. ''Who says you can't meet nice girls at the club,'' asks Tiernan. ''We are going to find our client the girl of his dreams.'' Skeptics may think they're dreaming but we kind of, uh, dig their optimism. Good luck girls -- and mystery man, who, incidentally, will not be there to endure the scrutiny. That's why he pays his matchmakers the big bucks. Says Opium Group VP of Communications Vanessa Menkes, ''The party is open to everyone, so frankly, if I were a single guy, I'd go there to see who turns up!'' Good advice!

Thanks Lesley, we love you!
LMM

Facebook Stalking And The Friend Zone.

2008-04-19T10:52:00.000-07:00

In the past 24 hours one of my ex-boyfriends and the newest HFM added me as Facebook friends. Now this is weird 1. Because they are both over 30. 2. Are 30-somethings suddenly all getting Facebook at once? And 3. I don't really want them Facebook stalking me. (ie. looking at my photos, comments, etc., especially when there are other guys involved.) Facebook is becoming the new Myspace, which freaks me out even more, since I liked it when it was just people my age and no one I'd dated, except Ivy, was young enough to be on it. Now everyone I don't want to be on it is suddenly a member. And my newest Facebook BFF's.

This brings me to my next point. Facebook has made it so easy to stalk anyone you're interested in, could be interested in, met at the club last night or is even a friend of a friend or a potential, now that you can see the whole album that your friends are tagged in. This also freaks me out. I don't want some 21 year old girls who happen to like a guy, or guys, who are tagged in my albums creeping around my photos. She could be 1. pyscho, 2. obsessive, 3. or think I'm trying to steal the guy she has a crush on and that's stress I really don't need in my life right now. I think I am getting old. I always keep my Facebook relationship status invisible whether I'm in a relationship or not, because it weirds me out to think that someone I don't know can see the real name of the person I'm dating and then log on here and read about them. I know Facebook is invasive, but dating blogging and Facebook together are just too much lately, especially with all of my exes joining the Facebook team. I mean, I'm sure there's someone out there reading this right now, looking at my Facebook and thinking damn, I know who Ivy is. I know who Mr. Nice Guy is, hell I even know who ETF is.

So, while Mr. PE and the newest HFM are still in the picture, situational factors have led me to my newest interest, who will now be referred to as The Nicer Mr. Nice Guy. The Nicer Mr. Nice Guy is one of those people that have kind of been around and it was obvious you liked each other, but they were always in the back of your mind, but your lives were in two different places. Well. In approximately 4 weeks our lives will be in pretty much exactly the same place- so where does this leave things? Will either of us actually pursue anything with one another or will he simply merge his way entirely into the friend zone and leave things as they have always been?

Peace and love,
LMM

Just Know.

2008-04-18T07:30:00.000-07:00

I had the weirdest dream last night. I was sitting in a room with four of my best friends and we were talking when my Blackberry started blinking. I checked my phone and it was a text from a guy I knew asking me to go out sometime. I ignored it and continued talking to my friends about dating and relationships, etc. when my Blackberry blinked again. With another guy texting me. This scenario continued until one of my friends said, "Torrie you have got to stop feeding into all of these guys, it's just shameful". Wow. Shameful. I know it was only a dream, but geez, that word seemed a bit harsh for simply accepting a few text messages.

But maybe my celestial BFF was right. Maybe if I was ever going to date anyone seriously I would have to forgo all of the other filler in my life. I constantly tell my friends that a good relationship can't start with out a clean slate, but here I was responding to texts from numerous guys that wanted to date me, many of whom I honestly wasn't even that interested in. I was the one who needed a clean slate. I was the one who needed to ditch the filler and start fresh. I honestly didn't even realize what I was doing until I heard that word in my dream last night. Was I leading these guys on by continuing to communicate with them? Was I feeding into my own filler?

I can honestly say for the first time since Ivy, I'm over having filler in my life. I'm over dating around. I'm over having a ton of guys chase after me. I really just want to either be alone or date someone worth dating, who has the same morals and goals in life that I do. But is this person out there? Does someone who wants all of the same things I want and believes in the same things I do really exist? Or am I ridiculous to continue waiting for this person who is perfect for me to suddenly appear in my life? I do know one thing. I am sick of settling. I'm sick of dating guys who are sort of right for me, thinking they might change, or I might change, or things might actually work out one day. I mean, seriosly, are there any guys out there who aren't either A. stressed as hell over their jobs or B. have reputations as players who talk to a million girls? Is there anyone normal out there? If so, please stand up. I am so over these types of guys, I really just want a nice, calm, laid back, normal guy who doesn't communicate with every girl on earth or work 100 hours a week. Is this an unrealistic expectation? Are there any nice guys left out there? The next person I date I want to be right. I don't want to have to worry that they'll be talking to other girls, or still living like a frat boy, or will get sick of me in a few months. I just want to not have to think about it at all. I've always heard that when you meet the right person it's easy. There isn't drama and there isn't constant arguing. There isn't doubt and there isn't that whole "I'm not really sure phase", you just know. I've never "just known". And. When I meet the right person. I am almost positive I will.

xxoo,
LMM

Come Party With Us Saturday At Set Miami!

2008-04-16T17:04:00.000-07:00

Is That Too Much Too Ask?

2008-04-16T13:31:00.000-07:00

A few months ago when I was recently single and visiting friends in Atlanta, one of my best friend's moms told me the best thing that I could do to make sure I end up with the right person is to make a list of all of the qualities I want in a husband and not seriously date anyone who didn't have every one of those qualities. I've headed her advice. I've dated. A lot. And. I haven't gotten into a serious relationship with anyone I've dated since then, because deep down I knew no one could pass my "list". I never wrote the list, but I figured now is as good of a time as any to put it in writing for me, and all of cyberspace, to see and hold me to following, as silly as I'm sure half of my list will seem to the outside world...

Mr. Right will:
1. Believe in God, and have a good relationship with God.
2. Want to get married one day and believe in the sanctity of marriage- Not New York style marriage, but the real thing.
3. Want children, at least 2.
4. Like dogs, even little ones.
5. Not smoke or do drugs.
6. Have strong morals, preferable similar to mine.
7. Be kind and respectful to everyone around him, especially me.
8. Not be the type of guy that hooks up with a lot of girls, or hits on girls all the time.
9. Want a partner and best friend in life.
10. Like the beach, like to surf, or be willing to learn.
11. Be laid back and be able to handle my craziness without stressing out.
12. Accept and like my friends.
13. Respect my feelings and opinions, even if he doesn't agree.
14. Love my family and be loved by them.
15. Not look down on others or think he is better than anyone else.
16. Be nice to waiters. And cab drivers. And everyone else.
17. Call me or text me every day.
18. Be fully trustworthy.
19. Be over the whole "post college drinking and partying with their friends every night" stage
20. Be able to communicate when he's upset or angry with me.
21. Have a close relationship with his family, has his own friends.
22. Have ambition and a career.
23. Be humble, not pretencious or conceited.
24. Be completely non-dramatic, (to bal
ance me out, hah).
25. Be over the whole club/going out scene and not feel the need to talk to random girls.
26. Not give up every time things get difficult or we argue.
27. Think that I'm perfect for him.
28. Remember birthdays and anniversaries and holidays without being reminded.
29. Want something more.

Is that too much too ask? Lol.
LMM

Six Word Sentence.

2008-04-16T07:32:00.000-07:00

A tag from http://twentysomethingandclueless.wordpress.com/ that I finally got around to doing:

"My Wish: My Heart Could Speak ."

Now it's your turn:
http://mispersonality.blogspot.com/
http://electricsurgesfree.blogspot.com/
http://www.lifeofcinematicmoments.com/

Rules:
1. Write your own six word story.
2. Post it on your blog.
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post (me) and to the original post if possible.
Tag at least three others with links.
4. Don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play.
5. Have fun!

A Florida Girl At Heart.

2008-04-15T18:23:00.000-07:00

South Florida is feeling more and more like home. And it seems like soon it will be. This is weird to me. I am Joe (sie) New Yorker. How weird will it be to be Miss Florida again? I will no longer rely on subways and cab drivers to take me to work and happy hour and brunch and clubbing, but will instead drive a car, my car, something I haven't done in 2 years to wherever I want to go. I always was a terrible driver.

I will forgo SeamlessWebbing it three times a day for breakfast, lunch and dinner and instead rely on going to a grocery store, something else I haven't done in 2 years, and actually cooking for more than major holidays. I will live in a home or apartment that it at least approximately 4 times bigger than my cozy 2 bedroom and I may or may not have a totally unfriendly doorman that, after months and months of living in my building, still asks where I live when I walk through the revolving doors. I will not go out every night to a crowded venue filled with investment bankers, traders and the occasional fashionista to be greeted with attitudes filled with 99% pretencion and 1% actual interest. I will not be with my NYC BFF's 24/7 as I have been over the past 2 years. I won't have a bottle of Pinot waiting for me, accompanied by my amazing boy roommate when I come home after yet another broken heart or shitty day. I will not see snow. Every guy I date will not be a banker, or a trader, or a hedge fund manager or private equity guy. I will not run into Ivy or his friends in the elevator of our shared building. Nor will I run into ETF at our favorite after work happy hour spot. Or Mr. Nice Guy when I hit up his hipster hangouts. Or even Mr. PE on the days when he is in the city and not Miami. I won't walk streets every day where I get pushed around and cursed at every 5 minutes for trying to walk and mind my own business. I won't have a Starbucks' on every corner to curb my $5 a cup caffiene cravings. Or an ex in every neighborhood I can call to call to meet me for drinks when I get bored or everyone else is busy.

Instead I will live a normal, or whatever normal can be when you aren't in the city, life with normal people who have no clue what B and T, investment bankers, F and R's, slumming it or guidos are. People who may actually go to church on Sundays and not care what celebrity they sat next to at Tenjune or Beatrice on Saturday night. People who settle down before they hit 35, not because they feel it's time, but because they fall in love. People who have no concept of serial dating, or the dating as a game of commodities reality, and probably don't even know or care what "bonus time" means.

My life will be a complete 180 from what it is now. I will most likely become a complete 180 from who I am now. This will probably be a good thing. I will most likely move here and at some point meet a boy who will make me his world, and who I will make mine. I will most likely fall in love, because, unlike in NYC, falling in love is not only acceptable, but commonplace here. After I fall in love, I will probably settle down and people from up north simply won't believe it when they hear it. And maybe I'll even get married. Something that just doesn't happen in the city. My New York City friends will come to my wedding, in their couture dresses and toast a "goodbye" to the me they used to know and toast a hallalujah to the wedding they never in a million years thought they would attend. I will probably have a life none of my New York City friends will ever believe I could live, since I have been "so New York" as long as they've known me. I will be happy. I will be successful. I will be content. And. I will be so. Not New York. I know this is not only a possibility, but a probability. One that will make all of my city friends laugh and with heads taken aback and eyes wide open say, "what the fuck happened to the Torrie we knew"? But. Deep down. I have never been a real New Yorker. I have always been a Florida girl at heart. Whether I acted the part or not.

Changes in attitudes, changes in latitudes, nothing remains quite the same, through all of the islands, through all of the highlands, if we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane...-Jimmy Buffett.
LMM

The Trials And Tribulations Of Being A Dating Blogger.

2008-04-14T19:03:00.001-07:00

(Thanks Twenty-Something And Clueless) :)

A recent New York Times article called "Channeling Carrie" by Leslie Kaufman chronicled the obstacles that modern day dating bloggers face. It was so dead on it was scary. We live in a world where we can find out basically anything we want about anyone. That anything becomes even trickier when the guys you're dating can find out what you're saying about them, as well as their competition with the simple click of a mouse. Some days I don't really get why people even care about reading about my dating life. About my drama. About my issues. And then I realize that most of us can see a part of ourselves when we read about other people's dating lives and dating dramas. We've all had relationship issues whether we'd like to admit it or not. And reading about other people whose relationships are even more fucked up than ours somehow makes us feel normal. And somehow makes our relationships seem functional.

If I had to describe my dating life over the past 3 and a half months of blogging in two words they would be: dramatic and complicated. Both as a direct result of this blog, yet I chose not to stop blogging. I'm sure my dating life would be a lot easier if this didn't exist, but in a weird way I feel like my blogging actually helps single girls and guys realize that they aren't alone in their search for the one, and helps them to accept the fact that no matter who you're with, relationships are never easy. Even with the right person, everything can't always be right. Differences are bound to arise, and arguments happen no matter how much you care for someone. I have learned that these both occur ten fold when one party is writing about said spats to any portion of the free world who wishes to read about them.

Guys basically get totally freaked out when they find this blog. They get even more freaked out when they read it. And a zillion times more freaked out when you write about them in it. I've done my best to try and keep my dating life somewhat private lately after the drama that occured with ETF, but deep down I feel that when I meet the right person they won't freak out about me writing about them or care about who I've dated or written about in the past. But for whatever reason, most guys are terrified of what I'll write about them. I don't know if it's an insecurity thing or if they're worried their friends will see it and make fun of them, or maybe a girl they date in the future will read and find out about their past "indiscrepencies"...Whatever the case a total freak out occurs 99.9% of the time when a guy I'm interested in finds out about my blogging.

Is there a guy out there who can handle my; crazy, emotional, blogging, loud, silly, flirty, non-committal self and accept me for who I am whole heartedly? Is a real relationship even possible when you're rarely in one place for more than a few weeks at a time? Will I continue dating Ivy's and ETF's for the rest of my single life? Or will I actually find someone who can keep me attention and be worthy of settling down and ditching my serial dating ways for?

You Be The Judge-
LMM

Miami Is The Place To Be. (WPB, too).

2008-04-13T21:07:00.000-07:00

Busy filming, matching and smiling in the Florida sunshine...
Though I miss my New York loves!
xxooxx,
LMM

Drama, Drama, Drama.

2008-04-11T06:35:00.000-07:00

I'm gone away from the city for four days and 1. I miss the nicest day the city's had this year. 2. I miss apparently the best Thursday night happy hour the city has ever seen. 3. My best friend D, the guy I just stopped dating, (ETF), and the guy I'm talking to, (new name to protect the so far innocent, Mr. PE), are at my favorite bar in one night and run into each other. 4. Then D goes to another bar to meet the guy she's seeing, HFG, and runs head on into her ex, who happens to be my ex Ivy's roommate.

Wow. This is one night's drama I can honestly say I'm glad I missed. Mostly because 1. ETF is an asshole who feels the need to say how "dramatic" I am and for some reason thinks D or anyone else actually gives a shit about HIS drama. And 2. My worst nightmare is being in a room with Mr. PE or any guy I'm talking to and ETF or Ivy. And 3. The mere sight of ETF or Ivy makes me want to vomit these days. Meanwhile, Mr. PE and I have been hard core talking/texting since I left and that's all I'm going to say for now. This time I'm just praying the world at large doesn't figure out his identity and 1. try to introduce him to ETF or Ivy or 2. write about it. I'm thinking this won't be a problem this time since I have been ridiculously sneaky in concealing his identity both in the cyber and real world. My friend, IBM, (investment banker M), who tends to forward on any gossip relating to me or to the guys I date said a mutual acquaintance asked her last week if it was true I was dating a guy from a certain PE firm. She laughed and said "Maybe"... Haha. I love Manhattan Finance gossip, i swear it's more incestual than Greek life was at my college. Gossip in Manhattan, especially in my world, is usually 1/10 of the truth and 100% entertaining... I love it. Especially when only I, and 3 of my closest friends know the truth.

Anyways. Enough about the big apple. I'm in the sunshine state now, aka my old stomping ground, and there's a lot going on here this weekend. Today we're starting a search for one of our clients that will last through the weekend and Sunday we are filming for a news segment. That's all I'll say for now. But I'm sure enjoying the weather, my best friend since high school Jen's company, and the sick suite at Hotel Biba we're staying in. Next weekend we're hosting a party and search for Miss Right at Set Miami on April 19th from 10-12. Come say hi!

I'm totally loving the bi-NYC/MIA life these days!!
xoxo,
LMM

Why Beautiful Women Marry Less Attractive Men, by Jeanna Bryner.

2008-04-10T12:43:00.000-07:00

Why Beautiful Women Marry Less Attractive Men

Jeanna Bryner LiveScience Staff Writer LiveScience.com Thu Apr 10, 11:25 AM ET

Women seeking a lifelong mate might do well to choose the guy a notch below them in the looks category. New research reveals couples in which the wife is better looking than her husband are more positive and supportive than other match-ups. The reason, researchers suspect, is that men place great value on beauty, whereas women are more interested in having a supportive husband. Researchers admit that looks are subjective, but studies show there are some universal standards, including large eyes, "baby face" features, symmetric faces, so-called average faces, and specific waist-hip ratios in men versus women.

Past research has shown that individuals with comparable stunning looks are attracted to each other and once they hook up they report greater relationship satisfaction. These studies, however, are mainly based on new couples, showing that absolute beauty is important in the earliest stages of couple-hood, said lead researcher James McNulty of the University of Tennessee. But the role of physical attractiveness in well-established partnerships, such as marriage, is somewhat of a mystery. The new study, published in the February issue of the Journal of Family Psychology, reveals looks continue to matter beyond that initial attraction, though in a different way.

Supportive spouses
McNulty's team assessed 82 couples who had married within the previous six months and had been together for nearly three years prior to tying the knot. Participants were on average in their early to mid-20s. Researchers videotaped as each spouse discussed with their partner a personal problem for 10 minutes. The tapes were analyzed for whether partners were supportive of spouses' issues, which included goals to eat healthier, to land a new job and to exercise more often. "A negative husband would've said, 'This is your problem, you deal with it,'" McNulty said, "versus 'Hey, I'm here for you; what do you want me to do?; how can I help you?'" A group of trained "coders" rated the facial attractiveness of each spouse on a scale from 1 to 10, with the perfect 10 representing the ultimate babe. About a third of the couples had a more attractive wife, a third a more attractive husband and the remaining partners showed matching looks.

Trophy wives
Overall, wives and husbands behaved more positively when the woman was better looking.
The finding "seems very reasonable," said Dan Ariely, a professor of behavioral economics at MIT's Program in Media Arts and Sciences and Sloan School of Management. "Men are very sensitive to women's attractiveness. Women seem to be sensitive to men's height and salary," said Ariely, who was not involved in the recent study. In couples with more attractive husbands, both partners were less supportive of one another. McNulty suggests wives mirror, in some ways, the level of support they get from husbands. "The husband who's less physically attractive than his wife is getting something more than maybe he can expect to get," McNulty told LiveScience. "He's getting something better than he's providing at that level. So he's going to work hard to maintain that relationship."

Men who are more attractive than their partners would theoretically have access to partners who are more attractive than their current spouses, McNulty said. The "grass could be greener" mentality could make these men less satisfied and less committed to maintain the marriage. Physical attractiveness of husbands is not as important to women, the researchers suggest. Rather, wives are looking for supportive husbands, they say. So it seems the mismatch in looks is actually a perfect match. "Equitable is unlikely to mean the same on every dimension," Ariely said during a telephone interview. "It just means that overall two people make sense together."

I Like It Easy.

2008-04-10T07:12:00.000-07:00

While I understand it's completely necessary to play games, I hate them. You know how it goes. You meet a guy, exchange numbers and then wait a few days for him to call you. If he does call you, you either don't answer or wait until the last second to take his call. Once you have started "talking" it's necessary to appear overly busy, even more so than you already are, so as to appear "unattainable". He asks you to go out to dinner or grab a few drinks and your automatic response is your busy that night, which you probably are, even if "busy" constitutes sitting on your couch watching CSI: Miami.

Once you finally agree to a time to meet when both of you are "free", (usually at least 4-6 days after initial "date" was propositioned), then comes the task of figuring out where to go. In my opinion this should rest solely on the guy, since he is the one asking. Unfortunately most guys leave this up to the girl to figure out, which makes us think you aren't capable of making your own decisions and rethink the date completely. When you do finally show up on said date both of you will talk about topics that are neutral and try to seem as sane and "whatever" as possible, so as not to seem crazy or desperate. Unless you're a total idiot you'll avoid the topics of marriage, kids, exes and politics and stick to things like your jobs, where you grew up, where you went to college and your favorite places to go out. After all of this ends you'll both go your separate ways and if you're interested, continue the game.

I've always heard it's easy when you meet the right person. Does this mean when you meet the right person you won't have to follow the rules and play the game? And what if life gets in the way of said game playing and you really can't answer the calls or forget to text back the right person? Will they still think you're right for them?

Things have actually been really easy for me lately. This makes me think. Is it because I've been too busy to think about playing the game? Or have I just not cared enough to worry about playing it? Or have I met a potentially right person? I'm sure things will become more difficult. If not, I'm sure I will make them more difficult. But for now. I like it easy.

XxOo,
LMM

Take It All In.

2008-04-09T07:34:00.000-07:00

I've never understood why some people go into and go out of our lives leaving such a meaningful impression, while others just seem to float away never to be thought of again. I've had people in my life that I knew for weeks who I've thought of more frequently than people I knew for years. This especially applies to my dating life. Why can we so easily forget one person we dated, yet in our minds never let go of another? I've always been able to cut guys out of my life with such velocity and indifference that it's shocked those around me. Even with the guys I had serious relationships with. One day I would just wake up, decide I wasn't happy anymore, break up with them and be sad for a day or two, then move on. This has been my m.o. for as long as I can remember.

But there are exceptions to every rule. There are a few people in my life who I no longer speak to that I still think of often. I can't explain why, none of them should have really had any profound impact on me or my life after them. But for whatever reason, they are, to this day still a part of my mind's landscape and no matter how hard I try to keep my mind from wandering to thoughts of them, it seems an impossible task.

It's not like I wake up in the morning and see their face, or go to bed at night and think of them. It's more like I hear a song at a bar and my mind immediately correlated the lyrics with one of them. Or I walk past a couple holding hands on the subway, or see a sunset for the first time in months and for whatever reason wish they were there standing next to me. I know it's ridiculous, because there's a 99.9 percent chance I will never date either of these people ever again and there is a 99.9999 percent chance I will never even speak to one of them again. But still, there is some part of me that just can't let either of them go. I think my thoughts of the one I still speak to are simply out of nostalgia of a time that I will never get back or be able to go back to, of a life that I loved living, but a life that is simply no longer who I am or ever will be again. The other, I can't really explain at all, since we had no significant relationship at all and the times we spent together I can count on both hands. I suppose in reality, the fact that he was so profoundly different from anyone I had ever met is the real reason I'm unable to forget him and unable to erase him from my mind completely.

I don't know why I'm even writing about this right now, but for some reason I feel the need to continue. We met directly after things finally ended between Ivy and I and to say I was a little fucked up would be an understatement. I wasn't sad or depressed over leaving Ivy. I was really confused, because I was alone for the first time in over a year. It wasn't that I missed Ivy, because when things ended between us I felt more relief than any other emotion. It was, however, that I needed to figure out who I was, sans Ivy, and looking back a part of me was still honestly wrapped up in who I was with Ivy. I don't know if this makes any sense at all to anyone else, but I somehow allowed myself to be a different person when I dated Ivy. It took a great amount of soul searching, a few self help books and some time without caring about anyone to figure out who I was without anyone else who meant anything to me in the picture. Anyways, I guess he, (let's be realistic here: Mr. Nice Guy), basically came into my life when I was just starting to figure all of that out.

It's definitely not one of those "I think about him all the time and miss him so much" things. Because I barely knew him at all, let alone enough to miss him or think of him every day. But I would absolutely be lying if I didn't say my mind wandered to thoughts of him more frequently than it probably should. I have, of course, moved on and dated other people. And, I have of course let go of the notion that we will ever speak again, as it has been months since we last communicated. But I truly feel there will always be a piece of me that misses him, not who I thought he was to me, or what others viewed him as. But the him that made me laugh at his dorkiness, and made me want to learn more about what else was out there, to gain more knowledge and leave my own reality's bubble and see outside the box. Even if he was an asshole at times. They say people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. In this case, I'd like to think he actually came into my life for a few reasons. To help me realize how wrong Ivy was for me. And. To make me open my eyes and see that it's a big world out there and in the end, the best we can do is learn more about it and try our best to take it all in.

Xoxo From Sunny South Florida,
LMM

You Say It's Your Birthday, It's My Birthday, Too.

2008-04-08T07:48:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I'm 24 today. I remember when I thought 21 was over the hill. Now here I am at 24. I must say my life isn't where I thought it would be at this age. In college I was sure I would be engaged or married by now, with a great guy and a great career. I have the career part down, but the whole married thing, not so much. The weird part is, I'm ok with that. I am so glad I didn't end up with any of the guys I seriously dated in the past, because the truth is, it wouldn't have been right. I wouldn't be as happy as I am now, or living the life I am now.

I wouldn't be in Florida celebrating with my best friend. I wouldn't be living in NYC. I wouldn't be learning about myself by dating different people, or finding out exactly what it is I really want. And honestly, I don't think I'd want it any other way. Every day I start to realize more and more that it's a big world out there and I don't know anything about most of it. There is so much I haven't experienced yet and there is so much I want to learn more about. For me, not settling down has allowed me to do all of the things I wanted to do and not have to worry about anyone else. I think that's why most New Yorkers marry much later in life than the rest of the country. We all want to set the world on fire before we can share it with anyone else. I think this is also why I don't like dating guys under 30. They're still trying to start their fires and I'm realizing more and more that I need someone who's already ablaze to balance me out.

Looking back over the past year I have to say I've learned more about myself and what I want in a relationship than any year past. I ended a serious relationship and learned exactly what I didn't want by reflecting on that. And I've dated around enough from that point on to understand what qualities I love and hate in guys I date. And to be quite honest, before this year I never really stopped to think about what it was a really wanted in a guy. So, while everyone asks, "So, when are you going to settle down already?" more and more with each year that passes, maybe they should really be saying, "Wait to settle down until you know exactly what it is you're looking for and you find someone worth settling down for". At least that will be my advice as I (gracefully) age and am able to give words of wisdom to those younger than I.

More pictures of the girls from my 1940's Hollywood Glamour party Saturday and My Suprise! (Which was WAY too much! xxoo!):

More to come!
xoxo,
LMM

Airports And Indecisiveness.

2008-04-07T07:30:00.000-07:00

As I write this I'm sitting in terminal number 4 at LGA headed to south Florida. I'm usually more excited when I go somewhere warmer even if it is for work but today I'm kind of sad I'm going to be away for my real birthday tomorrow. I know jen and I will have fun celebrating both of our birthdays but I'm missing the city already and I haven't even left yet. This really makes no sense at all because most days I feel like I'm over new york. Am I falling in love with the city all over again? I have a total love hate relationship no matter what the case. I would love to have the best of both worlds and summer in the city and winter in Miami. I think that would be perfection but the truth is even if I had that arrangement I would probably miss whatever city I wasn't in at the time. This directly relates to my dating life. I could have the perfect relationship with the perfect guy and I swear a part of me would still be wondering if I'd be happier with someone else. Is it just me or is our generation especially those of us lucky enough to date in new york never satisfied? As much as I try and appreciate life and relationships it always seems there could be more out there. Does there come a point in our lives where we ever stop wondering what else there is? Maybe it all boils down to timing or the pieces finally fitting together. Or maybe its more about finding the right person at the right time whose life can fit perfectly into yours without even a thought of what if. And what if you have all of that and you still wonder if it can really all fit together in the end? I guess the best we can do is hope to meet someone who has all the pieces were looking for and hope they can accept ours. Xoxo lmm

The Birthday Week.

2008-04-06T14:37:00.000-07:00

Some people have birthdays. I have birthday weeks. This week my blogs will be devoted to the debauchery that accompanies my 24th birthday week.

XoXo,
LMM

I Love Birthdays.

2008-04-04T07:44:00.000-07:00

Blake Lively was walking off the elevator next to me with the new brunette girl from the show as I left my building for work this morning. She was so adorable in person, though my lobby was a random place to run into a celeb. I've heard that most of the GG cast lives downtown, I wonder if the new cast member lives in my building? As I'm sure Blake lives somewhere much sweeter.

As my readership has grown over the past month I've started to freak out about writing about guys on here anymore for fear that they or someone they know will read it. Even the pseudo names obviously haven't been fool proof in the past, so I'm really not quite sure how to keep writing as I try and build relationships along the way. I guess I basically have two choices: 1. allow my life to turn into the real world version of Gossip Girl or 2. leave the guys I date out of my blog. I'm not really excited about either scenario, but I do realize something has to be done if I decide to seriously date anyone in the near future.

On a lighter note, I found out who my blog stalker is and all I have to say is: You are older than my mother, grow up. If I was you I'd think about why I'm harassing a soon to be 24 year old that doesn't care about me at all. I really don't get your obsession, I mean looking at my blog 10-28x a day and trying to leave me rude comments? Karma always wins in the end.

So, tomorrow is my pseudo-birthday, since I'll be out of town on a business trip on my real birthday, Tuesday. I'm having a party at my friends and I's favorite sushi restaraunt and then we're all going out to one of our favorite bars. I haven't done a theme party since I was about 5, but I decided to go all out this year and do something different. There are about 25 of us going and we're all dressing up in 1940's Hollywood Glamour, whatever that means, lol. I'm totally stoked to see everyone before I leave for my trip since I won't be back until the 23rd and I'm certainly going to miss the hell out of everyone while I'm away. It's weird, but lately I've realized how amazing my friends are. I am so lucky to have friends who are always there for me and who I never have drama with. I can't even think of a time I've ever gotten into a fight with any of my close friends, even the ones I've been friends with since I was 15 or in college. I thank God for this considering how dramatic my dating life has been lately.

Doesn't it always seem like when one part of your life is going so smoothly it's a given another part will be fucked up? My job is great, my friends and family are great, yet my dating life is a total mess lately. It's the world's sick balancing act I suppose. Or maybe it's New York's. I haven't quite figured that one out yet. The good news is my birthday this year will most definitely be better than my birthday last year, since there is no boyfriend to hook up with another girl in front of me to help me celebrate the big 2-4. This makes me smile.

P.S. You're hillarous, Brian, lol. And yes. I do happen to know the difference between Miles and Coltrane, poophead. Tell Bets I miss and love her, too and I'll call her soon. I'm sure this years birthday won't be quite as exciting as the fist fighting and cheating filled one of last year that you two were lucky enough to share with me, but I'm still sad you guys aren't going to be here for it, (my best friend the brilliant, hot and young) Dr. Cochrane and her lovely (distinguished) Mr. Engineer husband Cochrane, lol.

Here's To Being The Token Single Birthday Girl,
LMM

P.S.

2008-04-03T10:50:00.000-07:00

p.s. On my elevator ride home last night the guy next to me goes, "I like your cowboy boots, are you from the South?" This starts a conversation and I'm like "Yes, sort of. You?" And he says he's from Atlanta, went to school there and, graduated my year. This is funny, because two of my good friends were in his class at his school so I say "Really? One of my best friends and another one of our friends were in your class. Do you know A or S?" He says "Yeah, I actually know them both, I dated A Freshman year, small world, we should hang out some time, what's your name? I'll Facebook you." I tell him my name and ask his. He gets off on the floor below me and I immediately call A and tell her the story. Her response, typical of a New York guy: "Ew...he's such an f-ing deuche bag, Torrie! I never dated him, we hooked up when I was drunk a few nights Freshman year. AS IF. Like I would ever date him, ewwww. Seriously get off the elevator if he gets on next time." Lol. Guess I won't be accepting that friend request....

LMM

The Randomness Of NYC.

2008-04-03T07:29:00.000-07:00

Last night I met some friends out after work for happy hour. We went to a bar in the East Village and it sucked so we ended up going to a bar in the West Village that's usually always a good time. We go to hang up our coats and I see a face in the mirror behind me that looks really familiar. I stop and think for a second and tell my friends "I know that kid. Shit.". Then I realize the guy standing with his co-workers behind me is "Neighbor Guy", the guy Jess and I met last week at happy hour downtown that lives two buildings away from me.

I'm totally embarrassed. One, because I realize: A. He is hot. B. I couldn't remember if he was him or his friend when he texted me and emailed me last week and now I realize it was him, after I blew him off, (I am an idiot). C. Hillary and I went to his apartment for his "party" on Friday, and it was really on Saturday, so when we buzzed his apartment his roommate was like "he's not here, but you guys can come up if you want". What kind of an idiot shows up to a party when there is no party? Me. We were way too embarressed to go up, but now I had to explain the whole party on the wrong day situation. Shit.

Anyways, we go to the bar and grab a drink and he's like "Hey, Torrie! What's up? How are you?" And I don't know what to say because I'm still embarrassed about the party and about blowing him off last week, so I'm sure whatever I responded with sounded really cool. My friends laugh at me and we talk to him for a few minutes and meet a few of his co-workers and then walk to the other side of the bar to meet our other friends. We end up leaving a half an hour later to go to a charity benefit and I contemplate not saying goodbye but my friends basically force me to by telling me over and over how awesome he is. So we say our goodbyes and he invited us to another party they're having in a few weeks, though I think I'll be out of town. I finally email him back this morning. It'll be a small miracle if he responds after my amazingly cool and collected behavior last night.

It's really weird how small New York has gotten for me lately. It's actually starting to freak me out. When I first moved to the city I didn't know anyone, now it seems where ever I go I run into someone, lately in most cases, someone I don't want to see. At least last night's run-in was a good one. But doesn't it always seem like when you don't want to see someone you see them? When Mr. Nice Guy and stopped talking I would've done anything to run into him out, even see him on the subway for God's sake, but nope. It didn't happen, I didn't run into him until months after we ended, when it was too late to talk about things, and when, as luck would have it, his ex-girlfriend happened to be in town from half way across the country and standing right next to him. On the other hand, I would do anything not to run into Ivy or ETF, yet I've run into both of them. How is this possible? Is this some sort of karmic relationship revenge? I hope I've had my fill of it if that's the case...

LMM

To My Blog Stalker.

2008-04-02T07:03:00.000-07:00

Wow. This is becoming a bit excessive. If you'd like to continue viewing and reading my blog 10-20x a day that's fine. If you'd like to keep trying to leave me rude comments, that's fine, too. But if I suck so badly, why are you one of my top viewers? I'm clearly confused. I know if I hated someone, I would stay as far away from them as possible. I certainly wouldn't read their blog a million times a day and leave them comments. Just a thought...If I suck so bad- don't read. That's what I would do. :)

LMM

Oh, God.

2008-04-01T21:05:00.000-07:00

So, last night I'm at dinner with a friend. We're talking and laughing and all of the sudden I see the last person on earth I want to see walk by me, ETF. With his friends. They were clearly going to go to the place we were at and they clearly go next door to avoid us. I am overly relieved that this occurs and go back to conversing with my girlfriend and mostly forget about the whole scenario. My friends even see him next door and report back, I care for two seconds, send a retarded text, and realize it's the beer talking and not me and I thank God I don't give a shit. Mostly since now I fully realize I was somehow blinded by the fact that I was so clearly SI for the last month in a half.

And mostly since I finally meet the guy my friends had been trying to introduce me to, "Mr. PE", out and basically have the time of my life. It turns out it wasn't him at the Mexican restaurant the other night. And it turns out he isn't dating some other chick. It also turns out he's 6'2, mid 30's, (totally passes my MDA), and beyond adorable, with dark brown hair and blue eyes, (which I just read somewhere is the most desirable combo a man can have according to 92% of women), and I must say I concur. He's also discernibly different than most of the guys I've dated lately. He's incredibly intelligent, with a undergrad and masters degree both from Ivy league schools, yet he has none of the Ivy league attitude. He's also very humble, which I adore. I've always loved shy guys, I guess they balance me out in a way. I've always hated dating guys who thought "they could get any girl to like them". That attitude has always been such a turn off to me, so to meet someone so opposite was so refreshing, especially since he's in private equity. We were basically in our own world all night talking about everything from art, to work, to our families and where we grew up. I also told him about the blog and the drama and he thought it was hillarious. I know it was only a pseudo first date...But he did ask me to go to dinner this week. And, to be quite honest, I think this one may actually be the one worth not writing about. ;)

Friends Don't Let Friends SI,
LMM

Guacamole And Figuring It All Out.

2008-04-01T07:26:00.000-07:00

After work last night I went out with friends for dinner and drinks. In the last two weeks seven out of eight of our girlfriends have become single. I swear break ups come in waves. All of us except one were either "dating" or "casually dating" someone and now all of us are back on the market. This timing actually worked out quite well, especially considering my birthday is this weekend and we are all going to be together in our single craziness to celebrate. So anyways, we were out and we were eating guacamole and chicken tacos, no fish tacos for me ever again since my East Village food poisoning experience, and we were drinking margaritas and talking about our work and our love lives...And I look at the table next to us and immediately recognize the guy sitting there.

Not like a "real world" recognize, but a Facebook recognize. Why, might you ask, was I looking at a stranger's Facebook profile? Well I was psuedo-Facebook stalking this particular guy, because my friends know him and wanted to set me up with him. So, I'm staring at Facebook guy, who by the way, is even cuter in person, and also, by the way, is sitting with a girl. We can't really tell if they're friends or if they're on a date or what, but we can however, definitely see that he is way to cute for her. So, I'm sitting there wondering, is potential set up boy seeing someone? Or is this even him at all? Maybe he has a twin? Or maybe this guy just bears a very strong resemblance to him? Of course I have to get up and walk by to get a closer look. Even after the "walk by" I still think it's him. This brings up an interesting point. Do I even want to go out with potential set up guy if he is possibly dating some other girl? I would feel awful if I met up with this guy and it really was him. Then again. Maybe it was a first date?

Whatever the case, my friends and I eventually got past the whole "possible potential on a date with someone else" issue and got back to the subject of dating in general. Somehow the topic of me letting people go and not looking back came up. There have only been two guys in my life that I broke up with or who broke up with me and I was upset about or gave a shit about for more than a day: SF, (my ex from Florida), who is coincidentally coming into town today, (which brings up a whole nother issue), and Mr. Nice Guy, who I really had no reason not to let go, considering how insignificant whatever we had was in the scheme of things. I really can't explain why those are the only two guys I ever really gave a shit about and the only two who I didn't basically forget about the day things ended.

This makes me think. Maybe they were the only ones who had any significant impact on me, because they were everything the other guys I've always dated weren't. Both of them were creative, both had interesting, meaningful careers, neither worked in finance, neither had the aggressive, competitive, cocky attitudes the rest of the guys I've dated had possessed. So maybe I should've been dating guys like them all along and maybe I would've actually cared about more than two people in almost 24 years.

This brings me to what one of my professors in college used to call an "Ah-Hah!" moment. It was like sitting there I finally figured a small part of it all out. I needed someone more like me in some ways and less like the rest of New York in others. I needed someone sort of artsy. Someone who wouldn't normally go up to a random girl and hit on her...Someone kind and different. Someone who knew the difference between Miles and Coltrane...Someone I could just wake up with in the morning and not even have to say anything to, but just be able to laugh and just start the day with... Basically the opposite of the majority of the guys I'd been dating. Now that I think I know what it is I'm looking for, does he exist in this city? Or am I, like most of the people I know looking for something that's almost impossible to find in a city like this? I can't say I plan on searching...but my eyes are certainly open...

LMM

It Is What It Is.

2008-03-31T19:07:00.000-07:00

I used to date a guy in Florida who always said, "it is what it is". I guess that's the best I can say about my blogging. Whether you care for it or not, "it is what it is". I've been getting lots of emails asking me to help people catch up with my past dating life and the guys involved since my former posts are in blog heaven. I decided to start from the beginning and recap the important players in my game and save you from reliving the drama of those in between. I'm writing this as I watch "The Hills", whose premiere I went to last week at Gotham, (amazing), and they're playing Kate Nash who I'm pretty much obsessed with, which makes me incredibly happy. You should listen to her, too. It might make you incredibly happy as well.

Back to blogging. I started writing last December when "Ivy", my ex of over a year, and I broke up. While I've heard his version of the story differs from mine, I've always been honest and truthful both to myself and to my readers. All I will say about the situation is that I left him in mid-December, started seeing someone else, and started seeing him again in late December. We broke up for good after a hugely public and dramatic fight at a party on New Year's. Neither him nor I tried to make amens after that night and things finally ended, though they should have ended far sooner than that.

After Ivy and I broke up I was sad for a day or so and then I was over it. This not only shocked everyone around me but surprised me as well. I kind of rebuilt my social life, sans Ivy, overnight and instead of dealing with our break up by sitting home and crying I went out a lot. And I dated a lot. And very shortly after Ivy and I were done I met the one person in the train wreck I call a dating life that I, to this day, still haven't been able to let go: Mr. Nice Guy. He was everything Ivy was not. He was sensitive, kind, intuative, different. As luck would have it, I was all over the place in the weeks after Ivy and I's demise and basically ruined whatever semblance of anything we had before we had it. Maybe he was a rebound, and maybe I barely knew him, maybe I didn't realize what I had at the time, but I screwed it up and he left me and we haven't spoken since. Except for the time I ran into him at a club. And he was with the ex-girlfriend. And there were a million things I wanted to say but all that came out of my mouth was "hello, how are you, nice to see you, goodbye". But I've never forgotten what he made me feel like when I was around him and I must say I've never felt that way since.

In the months following the Mr. Nice Guy fiasco, I dated again. I met tons of guys. I went on first dates with a few. I went on second and third dates with two or three. And I guess you could say I even "dated" two of them most recently. While they were both nice guys, neither was right for me and truthfully neither is worth mentioning from this point forward, because one is now simply a great friend, (who I'm setting up with one of my girlfriends this week, lol), and the other I honestly could care less if I ever see again.

So, here we are. In the past three months I've gone from "taken Torrie" to "single Torrie" to "sort of taken Torrie" and back to "single Torrie". And I must admit I think I like "single Torrie" best. Over the past few months I realize I was happiest, aside from my time with MNG, when I was in "I don't want to date anyone" mode and I think it's what suits me best, at least until I meet someone who can change my mind on that for more than a week or two. I have great friends, I love my job and I love my life. The more I think about it, the more I don't want a change. While I do promise to be kinder to former and future love interests, I don't think I'll stop blogging until I meet someone who I care enough for not to blog about.

I realize I have readers who love what I write about. I also realize there are people out there who think my blogging is meaningless and stupid and that I'm just some "crazy chick your friend dated/is dating/or your friend's friend dated". To you all I have to say is, I understand, but if you feel that way then why are you reading? You don't know me. You know nothing about me as a person, only the tiny pieces of my life I've decided to share with the world via this site and possibly the I'm sure incredibly well informed snipits of info. my exes or exes friends have decided to share with you. I'm actually a very kind, loyal and happy person and I really don't want any drama or attention from anyone, let alone people I've never met. I'm done blogging about Ivy and anyone else I've dated you may know, so there's really no reason for you to read on from this point, I promise what follows will bore you. I've thought about not blogging for some time, but in the end what would that really accomplish? As single New Yorkers dating is hard enough, so maybe if anything at all, the rest of you will see there's someone else out there with a love life just as screwed up as yours...Or maybe far more screwed up than yours if you're one of the lucky ones...;)

Love,
LMM

Starting Over.

2008-03-30T18:20:00.000-07:00

If you thought I was handling a lot of drama last week, think what my blog sustained. Due to the amount of hits I received Friday my blog freaked out and had to be reformatted and basically rebuilt. This is the new and better version, which will hopefully come along with a new and better version of my dating life. What follows is a brief synopsis of the last few months of my love life leading up to last week's events.

Since December of '07 I've chronicled my love and social life in the dating capital of the world, New York City. I've had some great dates and I've had some really crappy ones. I've fallen out of like a lot of times and fallen in like a few. I've done a lot of leaving, and I've been left. I've broken a few hearts and in the beginning had mine broken along the way. Most of all, I've learned more from writing about my experiences and reading the responses I've gotten via comments and email from other single girls than I could've learned in a million years without this blog.

I began writing this blog for fun. Dating and falling in love went hand in hand with my profession, so I thought it might be fun to write about my own dating experiences. My blog started with just a few readers, mostly my close friends and family and somehow grew to have a readership of thousands, most of whom I'm quite sure I've never met in the real world. My growing readership started to cause issues in my love life when I realized the guys I was dating, as well as guys I'd previously dated and their friends, and their friends friends were reading my blog. I continued blogging anyway. While I used pseudo-names to protect the innocent, (or in most cases not so innocent), guys in my life, last week most parties involved real identities were found out by one of their mutual friends. This culminated in half of the city logging onto my blog and following the dating dramas of yours truly, something I had never intended or wanted to happen. This also created a great amount of unwanted drama in my life and caused me to rethink being a dating blogger at all. After a weekend of being blog-less I decided the best thing I could do now was start over. Start a new blog. Concentrate less on dating and more on living...with a bit more perspective and a lot less drama.

LMM