Busy filming, matching and smiling in the Florida sunshine...
Though I miss my New York loves!
xxooxx,
LMM
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Miami Is The Place To Be. (WPB, too).
Busy filming, matching and smiling in the Florida sunshine...
Though I miss my New York loves!
xxooxx,
LMM
Friday, April 11, 2008
Drama, Drama, Drama.
I'm gone away from the city for four days and 1. I miss the nicest day the city's had this year. 2. I miss apparently the best Thursday night happy hour the city has ever seen. 3. My best friend D, the guy I just stopped dating, (ETF), and the guy I'm talking to, (new name to protect the so far innocent, Mr. PE), are at my favorite bar in one night and run into each other. 4. Then D goes to another bar to meet the guy she's seeing, HFG, and runs head on into her ex, who happens to be my ex Ivy's roommate.
Wow. This is one night's drama I can honestly say I'm glad I missed. Mostly because 1. ETF is an asshole who feels the need to say how "dramatic" I am and for some reason thinks D or anyone else actually gives a shit about HIS drama. And 2. My worst nightmare is being in a room with Mr. PE or any guy I'm talking to and ETF or Ivy. And 3. The mere sight of ETF or Ivy makes me want to vomit these days. Meanwhile, Mr. PE and I have been hard core talking/texting since I left and that's all I'm going to say for now. This time I'm just praying the world at large doesn't figure out his identity and 1. try to introduce him to ETF or Ivy or 2. write about it. I'm thinking this won't be a problem this time since I have been ridiculously sneaky in concealing his identity both in the cyber and real world. My friend, IBM, (investment banker M), who tends to forward on any gossip relating to me or to the guys I date said a mutual acquaintance asked her last week if it was true I was dating a guy from a certain PE firm. She laughed and said "Maybe"... Haha. I love Manhattan Finance gossip, i swear it's more incestual than Greek life was at my college. Gossip in Manhattan, especially in my world, is usually 1/10 of the truth and 100% entertaining... I love it. Especially when only I, and 3 of my closest friends know the truth.
Anyways. Enough about the big apple. I'm in the sunshine state now, aka my old stomping ground, and there's a lot going on here this weekend. Today we're starting a search for one of our clients that will last through the weekend and Sunday we are filming for a news segment. That's all I'll say for now. But I'm sure enjoying the weather, my best friend since high school Jen's company, and the sick suite at Hotel Biba we're staying in. Next weekend we're hosting a party and search for Miss Right at Set Miami on April 19th from 10-12. Come say hi!
I'm totally loving the bi-NYC/MIA life these days!!
xoxo,
LMM
Wow. This is one night's drama I can honestly say I'm glad I missed. Mostly because 1. ETF is an asshole who feels the need to say how "dramatic" I am and for some reason thinks D or anyone else actually gives a shit about HIS drama. And 2. My worst nightmare is being in a room with Mr. PE or any guy I'm talking to and ETF or Ivy. And 3. The mere sight of ETF or Ivy makes me want to vomit these days. Meanwhile, Mr. PE and I have been hard core talking/texting since I left and that's all I'm going to say for now. This time I'm just praying the world at large doesn't figure out his identity and 1. try to introduce him to ETF or Ivy or 2. write about it. I'm thinking this won't be a problem this time since I have been ridiculously sneaky in concealing his identity both in the cyber and real world. My friend, IBM, (investment banker M), who tends to forward on any gossip relating to me or to the guys I date said a mutual acquaintance asked her last week if it was true I was dating a guy from a certain PE firm. She laughed and said "Maybe"... Haha. I love Manhattan Finance gossip, i swear it's more incestual than Greek life was at my college. Gossip in Manhattan, especially in my world, is usually 1/10 of the truth and 100% entertaining... I love it. Especially when only I, and 3 of my closest friends know the truth.
Anyways. Enough about the big apple. I'm in the sunshine state now, aka my old stomping ground, and there's a lot going on here this weekend. Today we're starting a search for one of our clients that will last through the weekend and Sunday we are filming for a news segment. That's all I'll say for now. But I'm sure enjoying the weather, my best friend since high school Jen's company, and the sick suite at Hotel Biba we're staying in. Next weekend we're hosting a party and search for Miss Right at Set Miami on April 19th from 10-12. Come say hi!
I'm totally loving the bi-NYC/MIA life these days!!
xoxo,
LMM
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Why Beautiful Women Marry Less Attractive Men, by Jeanna Bryner.
Why Beautiful Women Marry Less Attractive Men
Jeanna Bryner LiveScience Staff Writer LiveScience.com Thu Apr 10, 11:25 AM ET
Women seeking a lifelong mate might do well to choose the guy a notch below them in the looks category. New research reveals couples in which the wife is better looking than her husband are more positive and supportive than other match-ups. The reason, researchers suspect, is that men place great value on beauty, whereas women are more interested in having a supportive husband. Researchers admit that looks are subjective, but studies show there are some universal standards, including large eyes, "baby face" features, symmetric faces, so-called average faces, and specific waist-hip ratios in men versus women.
Past research has shown that individuals with comparable stunning looks are attracted to each other and once they hook up they report greater relationship satisfaction. These studies, however, are mainly based on new couples, showing that absolute beauty is important in the earliest stages of couple-hood, said lead researcher James McNulty of the University of Tennessee. But the role of physical attractiveness in well-established partnerships, such as marriage, is somewhat of a mystery. The new study, published in the February issue of the Journal of Family Psychology, reveals looks continue to matter beyond that initial attraction, though in a different way.
Supportive spouses
McNulty's team assessed 82 couples who had married within the previous six months and had been together for nearly three years prior to tying the knot. Participants were on average in their early to mid-20s. Researchers videotaped as each spouse discussed with their partner a personal problem for 10 minutes. The tapes were analyzed for whether partners were supportive of spouses' issues, which included goals to eat healthier, to land a new job and to exercise more often. "A negative husband would've said, 'This is your problem, you deal with it,'" McNulty said, "versus 'Hey, I'm here for you; what do you want me to do?; how can I help you?'" A group of trained "coders" rated the facial attractiveness of each spouse on a scale from 1 to 10, with the perfect 10 representing the ultimate babe. About a third of the couples had a more attractive wife, a third a more attractive husband and the remaining partners showed matching looks.
Trophy wives
Overall, wives and husbands behaved more positively when the woman was better looking.
The finding "seems very reasonable," said Dan Ariely, a professor of behavioral economics at MIT's Program in Media Arts and Sciences and Sloan School of Management. "Men are very sensitive to women's attractiveness. Women seem to be sensitive to men's height and salary," said Ariely, who was not involved in the recent study. In couples with more attractive husbands, both partners were less supportive of one another. McNulty suggests wives mirror, in some ways, the level of support they get from husbands. "The husband who's less physically attractive than his wife is getting something more than maybe he can expect to get," McNulty told LiveScience. "He's getting something better than he's providing at that level. So he's going to work hard to maintain that relationship."
Men who are more attractive than their partners would theoretically have access to partners who are more attractive than their current spouses, McNulty said. The "grass could be greener" mentality could make these men less satisfied and less committed to maintain the marriage. Physical attractiveness of husbands is not as important to women, the researchers suggest. Rather, wives are looking for supportive husbands, they say. So it seems the mismatch in looks is actually a perfect match. "Equitable is unlikely to mean the same on every dimension," Ariely said during a telephone interview. "It just means that overall two people make sense together."
Jeanna Bryner LiveScience Staff Writer LiveScience.com Thu Apr 10, 11:25 AM ET
Women seeking a lifelong mate might do well to choose the guy a notch below them in the looks category. New research reveals couples in which the wife is better looking than her husband are more positive and supportive than other match-ups. The reason, researchers suspect, is that men place great value on beauty, whereas women are more interested in having a supportive husband. Researchers admit that looks are subjective, but studies show there are some universal standards, including large eyes, "baby face" features, symmetric faces, so-called average faces, and specific waist-hip ratios in men versus women.
Past research has shown that individuals with comparable stunning looks are attracted to each other and once they hook up they report greater relationship satisfaction. These studies, however, are mainly based on new couples, showing that absolute beauty is important in the earliest stages of couple-hood, said lead researcher James McNulty of the University of Tennessee. But the role of physical attractiveness in well-established partnerships, such as marriage, is somewhat of a mystery. The new study, published in the February issue of the Journal of Family Psychology, reveals looks continue to matter beyond that initial attraction, though in a different way.
Supportive spouses
McNulty's team assessed 82 couples who had married within the previous six months and had been together for nearly three years prior to tying the knot. Participants were on average in their early to mid-20s. Researchers videotaped as each spouse discussed with their partner a personal problem for 10 minutes. The tapes were analyzed for whether partners were supportive of spouses' issues, which included goals to eat healthier, to land a new job and to exercise more often. "A negative husband would've said, 'This is your problem, you deal with it,'" McNulty said, "versus 'Hey, I'm here for you; what do you want me to do?; how can I help you?'" A group of trained "coders" rated the facial attractiveness of each spouse on a scale from 1 to 10, with the perfect 10 representing the ultimate babe. About a third of the couples had a more attractive wife, a third a more attractive husband and the remaining partners showed matching looks.
Trophy wives
Overall, wives and husbands behaved more positively when the woman was better looking.
The finding "seems very reasonable," said Dan Ariely, a professor of behavioral economics at MIT's Program in Media Arts and Sciences and Sloan School of Management. "Men are very sensitive to women's attractiveness. Women seem to be sensitive to men's height and salary," said Ariely, who was not involved in the recent study. In couples with more attractive husbands, both partners were less supportive of one another. McNulty suggests wives mirror, in some ways, the level of support they get from husbands. "The husband who's less physically attractive than his wife is getting something more than maybe he can expect to get," McNulty told LiveScience. "He's getting something better than he's providing at that level. So he's going to work hard to maintain that relationship."
Men who are more attractive than their partners would theoretically have access to partners who are more attractive than their current spouses, McNulty said. The "grass could be greener" mentality could make these men less satisfied and less committed to maintain the marriage. Physical attractiveness of husbands is not as important to women, the researchers suggest. Rather, wives are looking for supportive husbands, they say. So it seems the mismatch in looks is actually a perfect match. "Equitable is unlikely to mean the same on every dimension," Ariely said during a telephone interview. "It just means that overall two people make sense together."
I Like It Easy.
While I understand it's completely necessary to play games, I hate them. You know how it goes. You meet a guy, exchange numbers and then wait a few days for him to call you. If he does call you, you either don't answer or wait until the last second to take his call. Once you have started "talking" it's necessary to appear overly busy, even more so than you already are, so as to appear "unattainable". He asks you to go out to dinner or grab a few drinks and your automatic response is your busy that night, which you probably are, even if "busy" constitutes sitting on your couch watching CSI: Miami.
Once you finally agree to a time to meet when both of you are "free", (usually at least 4-6 days after initial "date" was propositioned), then comes the task of figuring out where to go. In my opinion this should rest solely on the guy, since he is the one asking. Unfortunately most guys leave this up to the girl to figure out, which makes us think you aren't capable of making your own decisions and rethink the date completely. When you do finally show up on said date both of you will talk about topics that are neutral and try to seem as sane and "whatever" as possible, so as not to seem crazy or desperate. Unless you're a total idiot you'll avoid the topics of marriage, kids, exes and politics and stick to things like your jobs, where you grew up, where you went to college and your favorite places to go out. After all of this ends you'll both go your separate ways and if you're interested, continue the game.
I've always heard it's easy when you meet the right person. Does this mean when you meet the right person you won't have to follow the rules and play the game? And what if life gets in the way of said game playing and you really can't answer the calls or forget to text back the right person? Will they still think you're right for them?
Things have actually been really easy for me lately. This makes me think. Is it because I've been too busy to think about playing the game? Or have I just not cared enough to worry about playing it? Or have I met a potentially right person? I'm sure things will become more difficult. If not, I'm sure I will make them more difficult. But for now. I like it easy.
XxOo,
LMM
Once you finally agree to a time to meet when both of you are "free", (usually at least 4-6 days after initial "date" was propositioned), then comes the task of figuring out where to go. In my opinion this should rest solely on the guy, since he is the one asking. Unfortunately most guys leave this up to the girl to figure out, which makes us think you aren't capable of making your own decisions and rethink the date completely. When you do finally show up on said date both of you will talk about topics that are neutral and try to seem as sane and "whatever" as possible, so as not to seem crazy or desperate. Unless you're a total idiot you'll avoid the topics of marriage, kids, exes and politics and stick to things like your jobs, where you grew up, where you went to college and your favorite places to go out. After all of this ends you'll both go your separate ways and if you're interested, continue the game.
I've always heard it's easy when you meet the right person. Does this mean when you meet the right person you won't have to follow the rules and play the game? And what if life gets in the way of said game playing and you really can't answer the calls or forget to text back the right person? Will they still think you're right for them?
Things have actually been really easy for me lately. This makes me think. Is it because I've been too busy to think about playing the game? Or have I just not cared enough to worry about playing it? Or have I met a potentially right person? I'm sure things will become more difficult. If not, I'm sure I will make them more difficult. But for now. I like it easy.
XxOo,
LMM
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Take It All In.
I've never understood why some people go into and go out of our lives leaving such a meaningful impression, while others just seem to float away never to be thought of again. I've had people in my life that I knew for weeks who I've thought of more frequently than people I knew for years. This especially applies to my dating life. Why can we so easily forget one person we dated, yet in our minds never let go of another? I've always been able to cut guys out of my life with such velocity and indifference that it's shocked those around me. Even with the guys I had serious relationships with. One day I would just wake up, decide I wasn't happy anymore, break up with them and be sad for a day or two, then move on. This has been my m.o. for as long as I can remember.
But there are exceptions to every rule. There are a few people in my life who I no longer speak to that I still think of often. I can't explain why, none of them should have really had any profound impact on me or my life after them. But for whatever reason, they are, to this day still a part of my mind's landscape and no matter how hard I try to keep my mind from wandering to thoughts of them, it seems an impossible task.
It's not like I wake up in the morning and see their face, or go to bed at night and think of them. It's more like I hear a song at a bar and my mind immediately correlated the lyrics with one of them. Or I walk past a couple holding hands on the subway, or see a sunset for the first time in months and for whatever reason wish they were there standing next to me. I know it's ridiculous, because there's a 99.9 percent chance I will never date either of these people ever again and there is a 99.9999 percent chance I will never even speak to one of them again. But still, there is some part of me that just can't let either of them go. I think my thoughts of the one I still speak to are simply out of nostalgia of a time that I will never get back or be able to go back to, of a life that I loved living, but a life that is simply no longer who I am or ever will be again. The other, I can't really explain at all, since we had no significant relationship at all and the times we spent together I can count on both hands. I suppose in reality, the fact that he was so profoundly different from anyone I had ever met is the real reason I'm unable to forget him and unable to erase him from my mind completely.
I don't know why I'm even writing about this right now, but for some reason I feel the need to continue. We met directly after things finally ended between Ivy and I and to say I was a little fucked up would be an understatement. I wasn't sad or depressed over leaving Ivy. I was really confused, because I was alone for the first time in over a year. It wasn't that I missed Ivy, because when things ended between us I felt more relief than any other emotion. It was, however, that I needed to figure out who I was, sans Ivy, and looking back a part of me was still honestly wrapped up in who I was with Ivy. I don't know if this makes any sense at all to anyone else, but I somehow allowed myself to be a different person when I dated Ivy. It took a great amount of soul searching, a few self help books and some time without caring about anyone to figure out who I was without anyone else who meant anything to me in the picture. Anyways, I guess he, (let's be realistic here: Mr. Nice Guy), basically came into my life when I was just starting to figure all of that out.
It's definitely not one of those "I think about him all the time and miss him so much" things. Because I barely knew him at all, let alone enough to miss him or think of him every day. But I would absolutely be lying if I didn't say my mind wandered to thoughts of him more frequently than it probably should. I have, of course, moved on and dated other people. And, I have of course let go of the notion that we will ever speak again, as it has been months since we last communicated. But I truly feel there will always be a piece of me that misses him, not who I thought he was to me, or what others viewed him as. But the him that made me laugh at his dorkiness, and made me want to learn more about what else was out there, to gain more knowledge and leave my own reality's bubble and see outside the box. Even if he was an asshole at times. They say people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. In this case, I'd like to think he actually came into my life for a few reasons. To help me realize how wrong Ivy was for me. And. To make me open my eyes and see that it's a big world out there and in the end, the best we can do is learn more about it and try our best to take it all in.
Xoxo From Sunny South Florida,
LMM
But there are exceptions to every rule. There are a few people in my life who I no longer speak to that I still think of often. I can't explain why, none of them should have really had any profound impact on me or my life after them. But for whatever reason, they are, to this day still a part of my mind's landscape and no matter how hard I try to keep my mind from wandering to thoughts of them, it seems an impossible task.
It's not like I wake up in the morning and see their face, or go to bed at night and think of them. It's more like I hear a song at a bar and my mind immediately correlated the lyrics with one of them. Or I walk past a couple holding hands on the subway, or see a sunset for the first time in months and for whatever reason wish they were there standing next to me. I know it's ridiculous, because there's a 99.9 percent chance I will never date either of these people ever again and there is a 99.9999 percent chance I will never even speak to one of them again. But still, there is some part of me that just can't let either of them go. I think my thoughts of the one I still speak to are simply out of nostalgia of a time that I will never get back or be able to go back to, of a life that I loved living, but a life that is simply no longer who I am or ever will be again. The other, I can't really explain at all, since we had no significant relationship at all and the times we spent together I can count on both hands. I suppose in reality, the fact that he was so profoundly different from anyone I had ever met is the real reason I'm unable to forget him and unable to erase him from my mind completely.
I don't know why I'm even writing about this right now, but for some reason I feel the need to continue. We met directly after things finally ended between Ivy and I and to say I was a little fucked up would be an understatement. I wasn't sad or depressed over leaving Ivy. I was really confused, because I was alone for the first time in over a year. It wasn't that I missed Ivy, because when things ended between us I felt more relief than any other emotion. It was, however, that I needed to figure out who I was, sans Ivy, and looking back a part of me was still honestly wrapped up in who I was with Ivy. I don't know if this makes any sense at all to anyone else, but I somehow allowed myself to be a different person when I dated Ivy. It took a great amount of soul searching, a few self help books and some time without caring about anyone to figure out who I was without anyone else who meant anything to me in the picture. Anyways, I guess he, (let's be realistic here: Mr. Nice Guy), basically came into my life when I was just starting to figure all of that out.
It's definitely not one of those "I think about him all the time and miss him so much" things. Because I barely knew him at all, let alone enough to miss him or think of him every day. But I would absolutely be lying if I didn't say my mind wandered to thoughts of him more frequently than it probably should. I have, of course, moved on and dated other people. And, I have of course let go of the notion that we will ever speak again, as it has been months since we last communicated. But I truly feel there will always be a piece of me that misses him, not who I thought he was to me, or what others viewed him as. But the him that made me laugh at his dorkiness, and made me want to learn more about what else was out there, to gain more knowledge and leave my own reality's bubble and see outside the box. Even if he was an asshole at times. They say people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. In this case, I'd like to think he actually came into my life for a few reasons. To help me realize how wrong Ivy was for me. And. To make me open my eyes and see that it's a big world out there and in the end, the best we can do is learn more about it and try our best to take it all in.
Xoxo From Sunny South Florida,
LMM
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
You Say It's Your Birthday, It's My Birthday, Too.
I can't believe I'm 24 today. I remember when I thought 21 was over the hill. Now here I am at 24. I must say my life isn't where I thought it would be at this age. In college I was sure I would be engaged or married by now, with a great guy and a great career. I have the career part down, but the whole married thing, not so much. The weird part is, I'm ok with that. I am so glad I didn't end up with any of the guys I seriously dated in the past, because the truth is, it wouldn't have been right. I wouldn't be as happy as I am now, or living the life I am now.
I wouldn't be in Florida celebrating with my best friend. I wouldn't be living in NYC. I wouldn't be learning about myself by dating different people, or finding out exactly what it is I really want. And honestly, I don't think I'd want it any other way. Every day I start to realize more and more that it's a big world out there and I don't know anything about most of it. There is so much I haven't experienced yet and there is so much I want to learn more about. For me, not settling down has allowed me to do all of the things I wanted to do and not have to worry about anyone else. I think that's why most New Yorkers marry much later in life than the rest of the country. We all want to set the world on fire before we can share it with anyone else. I think this is also why I don't like dating guys under 30. They're still trying to start their fires and I'm realizing more and more that I need someone who's already ablaze to balance me out.
Looking back over the past year I have to say I've learned more about myself and what I want in a relationship than any year past. I ended a serious relationship and learned exactly what I didn't want by reflecting on that. And I've dated around enough from that point on to understand what qualities I love and hate in guys I date. And to be quite honest, before this year I never really stopped to think about what it was a really wanted in a guy. So, while everyone asks, "So, when are you going to settle down already?" more and more with each year that passes, maybe they should really be saying, "Wait to settle down until you know exactly what it is you're looking for and you find someone worth settling down for". At least that will be my advice as I (gracefully) age and am able to give words of wisdom to those younger than I.
More pictures of the girls from my 1940's Hollywood Glamour party Saturday and My Suprise! (Which was WAY too much! xxoo!):
More to come!
xoxo,
LMM
I wouldn't be in Florida celebrating with my best friend. I wouldn't be living in NYC. I wouldn't be learning about myself by dating different people, or finding out exactly what it is I really want. And honestly, I don't think I'd want it any other way. Every day I start to realize more and more that it's a big world out there and I don't know anything about most of it. There is so much I haven't experienced yet and there is so much I want to learn more about. For me, not settling down has allowed me to do all of the things I wanted to do and not have to worry about anyone else. I think that's why most New Yorkers marry much later in life than the rest of the country. We all want to set the world on fire before we can share it with anyone else. I think this is also why I don't like dating guys under 30. They're still trying to start their fires and I'm realizing more and more that I need someone who's already ablaze to balance me out.
Looking back over the past year I have to say I've learned more about myself and what I want in a relationship than any year past. I ended a serious relationship and learned exactly what I didn't want by reflecting on that. And I've dated around enough from that point on to understand what qualities I love and hate in guys I date. And to be quite honest, before this year I never really stopped to think about what it was a really wanted in a guy. So, while everyone asks, "So, when are you going to settle down already?" more and more with each year that passes, maybe they should really be saying, "Wait to settle down until you know exactly what it is you're looking for and you find someone worth settling down for". At least that will be my advice as I (gracefully) age and am able to give words of wisdom to those younger than I.
More pictures of the girls from my 1940's Hollywood Glamour party Saturday and My Suprise! (Which was WAY too much! xxoo!):
More to come!
xoxo,
LMM
Monday, April 7, 2008
Airports And Indecisiveness.
As I write this I'm sitting in terminal number 4 at LGA headed to south Florida. I'm usually more excited when I go somewhere warmer even if it is for work but today I'm kind of sad I'm going to be away for my real birthday tomorrow. I know jen and I will have fun celebrating both of our birthdays but I'm missing the city already and I haven't even left yet. This really makes no sense at all because most days I feel like I'm over new york. Am I falling in love with the city all over again? I have a total love hate relationship no matter what the case. I would love to have the best of both worlds and summer in the city and winter in Miami. I think that would be perfection but the truth is even if I had that arrangement I would probably miss whatever city I wasn't in at the time. This directly relates to my dating life. I could have the perfect relationship with the perfect guy and I swear a part of me would still be wondering if I'd be happier with someone else. Is it just me or is our generation especially those of us lucky enough to date in new york never satisfied? As much as I try and appreciate life and relationships it always seems there could be more out there. Does there come a point in our lives where we ever stop wondering what else there is? Maybe it all boils down to timing or the pieces finally fitting together. Or maybe its more about finding the right person at the right time whose life can fit perfectly into yours without even a thought of what if. And what if you have all of that and you still wonder if it can really all fit together in the end? I guess the best we can do is hope to meet someone who has all the pieces were looking for and hope they can accept ours. Xoxo lmm
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