It Is What It Is.

I used to date a guy in Florida who always said, "it is what it is". I guess that's the best I can say about my blogging. Whether you care for it or not, "it is what it is". I've been getting lots of emails asking me to help people catch up with my past dating life and the guys involved since my former posts are in blog heaven. I decided to start from the beginning and recap the important players in my game and save you from reliving the drama of those in between. I'm writing this as I watch "The Hills", whose premiere I went to last week at Gotham, (amazing), and they're playing Kate Nash who I'm pretty much obsessed with, which makes me incredibly happy. You should listen to her, too. It might make you incredibly happy as well.

Back to blogging. I started writing last December when "Ivy", my ex of over a year, and I broke up. While I've heard his version of the story differs from mine, I've always been honest and truthful both to myself and to my readers. All I will say about the situation is that I left him in mid-December, started seeing someone else, and started seeing him again in late December. We broke up for good after a hugely public and dramatic fight at a party on New Year's. Neither him nor I tried to make amens after that night and things finally ended, though they should have ended far sooner than that.

After Ivy and I broke up I was sad for a day or so and then I was over it. This not only shocked everyone around me but surprised me as well. I kind of rebuilt my social life, sans Ivy, overnight and instead of dealing with our break up by sitting home and crying I went out a lot. And I dated a lot. And very shortly after Ivy and I were done I met the one person in the train wreck I call a dating life that I, to this day, still haven't been able to let go: Mr. Nice Guy. He was everything Ivy was not. He was sensitive, kind, intuative, different. As luck would have it, I was all over the place in the weeks after Ivy and I's demise and basically ruined whatever semblance of anything we had before we had it. Maybe he was a rebound, and maybe I barely knew him, maybe I didn't realize what I had at the time, but I screwed it up and he left me and we haven't spoken since. Except for the time I ran into him at a club. And he was with the ex-girlfriend. And there were a million things I wanted to say but all that came out of my mouth was "hello, how are you, nice to see you, goodbye". But I've never forgotten what he made me feel like when I was around him and I must say I've never felt that way since.

In the months following the Mr. Nice Guy fiasco, I dated again. I met tons of guys. I went on first dates with a few. I went on second and third dates with two or three. And I guess you could say I even "dated" two of them most recently. While they were both nice guys, neither was right for me and truthfully neither is worth mentioning from this point forward, because one is now simply a great friend, (who I'm setting up with one of my girlfriends this week, lol), and the other I honestly could care less if I ever see again.

So, here we are. In the past three months I've gone from "taken Torrie" to "single Torrie" to "sort of taken Torrie" and back to "single Torrie". And I must admit I think I like "single Torrie" best. Over the past few months I realize I was happiest, aside from my time with MNG, when I was in "I don't want to date anyone" mode and I think it's what suits me best, at least until I meet someone who can change my mind on that for more than a week or two. I have great friends, I love my job and I love my life. The more I think about it, the more I don't want a change. While I do promise to be kinder to former and future love interests, I don't think I'll stop blogging until I meet someone who I care enough for not to blog about.

I realize I have readers who love what I write about. I also realize there are people out there who think my blogging is meaningless and stupid and that I'm just some "crazy chick your friend dated/is dating/or your friend's friend dated". To you all I have to say is, I understand, but if you feel that way then why are you reading? You don't know me. You know nothing about me as a person, only the tiny pieces of my life I've decided to share with the world via this site and possibly the I'm sure incredibly well informed snipits of info. my exes or exes friends have decided to share with you. I'm actually a very kind, loyal and happy person and I really don't want any drama or attention from anyone, let alone people I've never met. I'm done blogging about Ivy and anyone else I've dated you may know, so there's really no reason for you to read on from this point, I promise what follows will bore you. I've thought about not blogging for some time, but in the end what would that really accomplish? As single New Yorkers dating is hard enough, so maybe if anything at all, the rest of you will see there's someone else out there with a love life just as screwed up as yours...Or maybe far more screwed up than yours if you're one of the lucky ones...;)

Love,
LMM