Have you ever noticed that in relationships we tend to follow the lead of the other person? It's kind of like the golden rule, "treat others the way you'd like to be treated", turned into the golden rule of dating, "treat others the way you're being treated". Maybe it's just me, but I've always been the type to pull back when someone I'm seeing pulls back, to give more when they give more, and not give a shit when they don't give a shit. But is this really the right way to date? Should we be following less of the dating golden rule and more of the original one? Would this make dating any easier? Or will the game of give and take always be the way dating is played out?
I have never been one to really care too much about the guys I've dated. I've always taken the "if it works it works" mentality when it comes to guys, and maybe this isn't the way to approach things. Maybe more of us should be going into dating thinking, "I should try and make it work", as opposed to my attitude. Would this make relationships more functional? Would this make them actually work? I can't say I know the answer. But. I suppose these days, anything's possible...
XoXo,
LMM
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2 comments:
By mirroring the attitude of your partner though, aren't you subconsciously trying to make it work. If you didn't want it to work you would carry on regardless of your partners feelings. you wouldn't give them more space when they wanted it unless you wanted it too. I think that makes you more attuned to your partner to try and follow their lead.
I think 'treat others the way you're being treated' is fine. I was probably wayyyyy too good to Colin towards the end of our relationship - he was pulling out and I should have just let got (although timing was a factor at the time!) - treating him the way I wanted to be treated didn't work at all.
But I do feel like when the right person comes along and the relationship is right, it'll be easy. I still have faith in that. You won't be thinking about whether you're treating him right or he's treating you right because everything will just be right!
(Ps. I've only skimmed why men marry bitches, but i totally think it rings true, at least in this case with Mitch! haha)
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