In A New York Minute.

The dating department of Torrie's screwed up life is even more confusing now than it was before this whole bi-coastal thing. I mean deep down, I know what I want and who I want to pursue things with, but there's still a part of me that just isn't sure. I guess I've just grown accustomed to the New York style of dating and directness that doesn't exist anywhere else, especially not in "normal land". Maybe I'm completely fucked up after a few years too many in the city, but it's become the norm for me to be dating multiple people at a time. And it's become even more normal for me to become completely uninterested when a guy I date doesn't make it clear that he wants to be dating me exclusively, even though he knows I'm dating other people. I know this makes no sense, but the twisted dating culture of New York is beyond explanation. Though I will try with this: girl dates boy, girl dates other boys, boy dates girl, boy dates other girls, until boy realizes he is absolutely not going to find a girl better than said girl and also realizes that said girl is probably dating other boys who are far better than him, so he freaks out to an extent and pushes exclusivity,this is how relationships occur. New York City marriages, the rarity that they are, often follow the same path, ask any intelligent, successful married male in the city why he asked his wife to marry him and the answer will usually be something along the lines of, "I knew if I didn't put a ring on her finger somebody else would". And he'll usually be 100% right.

I've never really gotten that whole concept, yet of course I still subscribe to it, because in Manhattan you have no other choice. For whatever reason men, especially Manhattan men, especially Manhattan men in finance, thrive on competition. Even in relationships, this is why New Yorkers are multiple daters. You can't really blame us, I mean we all compete with half the world to land the jobs we land in the fields we work in, then once we get the jobs the competition to keep them and succeed against our competition is even more intense. So, in reality, why would dating be any different? Shouldn't we have to work for what we want in that field as well?

Isn't there a better way to go about this whole relationship thing? Couldn't there be an easier way of dating in the 21st century? I mean, people walk on the moon for Goodness sake, can't we figure out a way to fall in love with one person while not dating the rest of the world at the same time? I blame this whole issue for the most part on men. If they weren't so damn unsure of what they wanted all the time maybe women wouldn't have to fill up their time dating other people to make them figure their shit out faster. Just a thought, but possibly one that would make dating this day and age a hell of a lot easier. Whatever happened to meeting someone, liking each other, dating each other, falling in love and getting married? At what point did this whole dating other people, then figuring out which one you really want to be with, then dating for years and years, then figuring out if the person you're with is worth marrying, then being engaged for a while, then finally taking the plunge thing come to be? If you ask me it's all exhausting and even more annoying. I think life would be a hell of a lot easier if dating was the way it used to be and boy met girl, they fell in love, got married and lived happily ever after. Maybe if the male species wasn't so damn slow in the dating department they wouldn't bitch so much about how they met "Miss Right" and lost her in a New York minute....

Just A Thought,
LMM